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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy routines and other funny jokes |
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Funny College Joke
An enemy decoy, built in occupied Holland, led to a tale that hasbeen told and retold ever since by veteran Allied pilots. The German'airfield, ' constructed with meticulous care, was made almostentirely of wood. There were wooden hangars, oil tanks, gunemplacements, trucks, and aircraft. The Germans took so long in building their wooden decoy that Alliedphoto experts had more than enough time to observe and report it. The day finally came when the decoy was finished, down to the lastwooden plank. Early the following morning, a lone RAF plane crossedthe Channel, came in low, circled the field once, and dropped alarge wooden bomb.
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Clinton Joke
Q: What is the difference between Dan Quayle, Bill Clinton and Jane Fonda? A: Jane Fonda went to Vietnam.
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Yo Mama Joke
Yo mama teeth are so yellow traffic slows down when she smiles! Yo mama teeth are so yellow she spits butter!
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American Joke
A salesman is assigned a new route that takes him into Texas for the first time. After reaching his first stop in Texas, it was late so he checked into a motel. And went to it's restaurant for diner. He ordered a small beer. The waitress brought him a huge mug.
'Waitress' he said,' I ordered a small beer. ' She said,' this is Texas, in Texas this is a small beer. ' Then he ordered a petite steak and the waitress brought him a two inch thick stake so big the sides of it were hanging off the edge of the pater.
'Waitress, I ordered a petite stake'
She told him that in Texas that was a petite stake. After a while all that beer was getting to him, so he asked the waitress where the rest room was. She told him to go down the hall two doors and turn to the *RIGHT*. He staggered down the hall two doors, turned *LEFT*,and walked into the hotel swimming pool. As he bobbed to the surface, he screamed,
'DON'T FLUSH IT!'
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Accountant Joke
A tourist, visiting a small town in Israel, came upon a statue dedicated to 'The Unknown Soldier'. At the base of the statue, a sign was displayed: 'Here lies Seymour Ruthenberg'. The tourist inquired of one of the locals how was it possible an unknown had a name. The resident replied, 'As a soldier, that Seymour was pretty much unknown, but as an accountant-Oy! He was something. '
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Bar Joke - 2
A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. 'What's it about?' he asked. 'I don't know, ' she replied. 'I can't read. '
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Love and Marriage Joke
Judi and Jon got married and she was at the drugstore looking at the men's toiletries. A clerk comes up to help her and asks if she needs assistance.
'I'm looking for some deodorant for my new husband Jon, but I don't know what type he uses. '
The clerk says, 'Is it the ball type?'
'No,' says Judi, 'it's for his underarms. '
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Government Humor
Working With The FBIThe phone rings at FBI headquarters. 'Hello?''Hello, is this the FBI?''Yes. What do you want?''I'm calling to report my neighbor Adrian Thibodeaux! He ishiding marijuana inside his firewood. ''Thank you very much for the call, sir. 'The next day, the FBI agents descend on Thibodeaux's house. Theysearch the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bustopen every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swear atThibodeaux and leave. The phone rings at Thibodeaux's house. 'Hey, Adrian! Did the FBI come?''Yeah!''Did they chop your firewood?''Yep''Great, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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