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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy radio stations and other funny jokes |
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Medical Joke
The 70-year-old man sat down in the orthopedic surgeon's office. 'You know, Doc, ' he said, 'I've made love in more exotic cars than anyone I know. Must be at least a thousand. ''And now, I suppose, you want me to treat you for the arthritis you got from scrunching up in all those uncomfortable positions, ' the medic said. 'Hell, no, ' the old fellow replied. 'I want to borrow your Lamborghini. '
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Dirty Joke
Q: What does a blonde answer to the question 'Are you sexually active?' A: 'No, I just lie there. '
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Funny School Kids Joke
'I have decided to stop all corporal punishment in the school. ' said the head teacher at morning assembly. 'That means that there will be no more physical punishment. '
'Does that mean there will be no more school dinners as well Sir?'
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Computer Joke
Q: How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, That's a hardware problem.
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Bar Joke , beer, booze and fun!
Barty and Dunny met in a pub and discussed the illness of a friend named Hogan. 'Poor Micheal Hogan! Faith, I'm afraid he's goin' to die. ' 'Shure, an' why would he be dyin'?' asked the other. 'Ah, he's gotten so thin. You're thin enough, and I'm thin -- but by my soul, Micheal Hogan is thinner than both of us put together. '
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Joke for Halloween
Things NOT to say to a Cop!1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!!5. Excuse me. Is 'stick up' hyphenated?6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer. 7. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead. 8. Bad cop! No Donut!9. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?10. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on 'Cops'?11. You look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's nightstand. 12. I pay your salary!13. So, duhhhh, you on the take, or what?14. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too. 15. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does. 16. I was trying to keep up with the other traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around, that's how far ahead of me they are. 17. What do you mean, 'Have I been drinking?' You're the trained observer!
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Travel and tourist Joke
The frightened tourist: 'Are there any bats in this cave?' The guide: 'There were, but don't worry, the snakes ate all of them. '
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Government Humor
Hillary and Chelsea were having a deep dish heartto heart talk about Chelsea's college experiences. Hillary: So have you found dating to be fullflling experience? Chelsea: It's okay. . but i don't like how the boys sometimes act like real sex hounds. Hillary: Well, uh, have you, uh, actually had sex? Chelsea: Well Mom, no, not IF you define sex the way Daddy does.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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