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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy production companies and other funny jokes |
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Love and Marriage Joke
It's not what you say, but the way you say it. On a blind date, the boy said to the girl: 'Time stands still when I look into your eyes. 'The girl was very flattered. What the boy had really meant was, 'You have a face that would stop a clock. '
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Fun Funny Joke
Conduct During the Holiday Season. . . Running aluminum foil through a paper shredder at Kinko's to make tinsel is discouraged. Playing Jingle Bells on a neighbor's push-button phone during a party is forbidden. (It runs up an incredible long distance bill. )Rental cars are not to be used to go 'over the river and through the woods to Grandma's house. 'Endlessly singing 'Frosty, the Snowman' under your breath at the mall will result in 'no presents' this year. All fruitcake is to be eaten before July '25
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Bible Joke
God is sitting up in his ivory tower, he's had enough of the pressures and stresses of being the number one, so he's decided to go on holiday. He calls all his super-being mates up and they pop around to discuss a few suggestions. 'What about Mars, ' says one of them. 'Nah I went there '15
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Teeth Joke
What has teeth but no mouth? A comb or a saw.
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Computer Joke
My computer crashed and died today And I thought, 'oh well what the hey' Now I'd have time to clean my house And see if I still had a spouseIt started out with weird frustrations Combined with mild heart palpitations And then my ankles began to swell Withdrawal symptoms from no AOLChills ran up and down my spine Oh, God I had to get on-line To greet my buds and check my mail I began to feel helpless and frailThen I remembered the Good Guy's Store And all those computers by the door I'd go there and when alone With no one looking I'd sign-onI stepped up to a computer, clicked on AOL The Sign-On screen came up, man it sure looked swell I clicked on the Guest name, then came the modem soundI was having cold-sweats, as my heart began to poundThen I typed my password, and the computer said, 'Goodbye' And that's what I kept hearing each time that I would try. This was just an evil plot, the store was playing tricks If only they had known how bad I need my AOL fixI . . . slowly. . . typed. . . my. . . password. . . then. . . I. . . stood. . . . and. . . waited The darned thing said , 'Goodbye' again and I got real frustrated That's when I shoved the keyboard thru the monitor screen And the last thing I remember is my loud shrieking screamWhen I woke I was handcuffed being booked I think I asked the data entry cop, if he'd get me a drink Now I'm sitting in his chair, and I know I can get well If I can just use his computer to sign on AOL.
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Miscellaneous Joke
36 things you'll never hear from a Redneck. . . 1. 'I'll take Shakespeare for '1000
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Totally Strange Humor
Clinton and Gore went to a diner to get a bite to eat. A good looking waitress comes up and asks, 'Can I take your order?'Clinton says, 'Yes, I like a quickie!'She turns a little read and say, 'Sir, in your present state of affairs I don't think you should even be suggesting something like that. I will come back when you are ready to order from the MENU!'As she walks away Gore leans over and says, 'Bill, its pronounced quiche'.
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Funny College Joke
Did you hear about the Louisiana Tech professor who stood in front of a mirror for two hours, wondering where he'd seen himself before?
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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