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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy posters and other funny jokes |
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Ethnic Joke - 1
Q: Did you hear about the man who was Polishing the flagpole? A: He varnished into thin air!
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Assorted Joke
A drunk walks into a bar and says, 'Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill. ' So, the bartender does just that, and hands the man the bill. The drunk says, 'I haven't got it. ' The bartender slaps the guy around a few times then throws him out into the street. The very next day, the same drunk walks into the bar and once again says, 'Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill. ' The bartender figures that he can't possibly be stupid enough to pull the same trick twice, so he gives him the benefit of the doubt. He pours a round of drinks for the house, has a drink himself, and hands the drunk the bill. Again, the drunk says, 'I haven't got it. ' The bartender can't believe it. He picks the guy up, beats the living daylights out of him, then throws him out into the street. The next day, the same drunk walks back into the same bar and says, 'Bartender, buy every one in the house a drink and give me the bill. ' In disgust, the bartender says, 'What, no drink for me this time?' The drunk replies, 'Nope! You get too violent when you drink. '
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Bumper Stickers - 3
How's my driving? Dial 1-800-YOU-SUCK
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Worlds Best Joke
A Woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. 'What Denomination?' Asked the clerk. 'Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?' said the woman. 'Well give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic!
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Ethnic Joke - 2
What do you call a 300 pound woman in Minnesota?Anorexic
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History Joke
Who invented King Arthur's round table ? Sir Circumference !
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Funny Kids Joke
Why are gold fish orange?The water makes them rusty!Who held the baby octopus to ransome?Squidnappers!What part of a fish weighs the most?It's scales!What fish do road-menders use?Pneumatic krill!What happens when sharks take their clothes off?They go sharkers!What game do fish like playing the most?Name that tuna!What do naked fish play with?Bare-a-cudas!What do you get if you cross a big fish with an electricity pylon?An electric shark!Who sleeps at the bottom of the sea?Jack the kipper!What is a dolphin's favorite TV show?Whale of fortune!
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Mom and Dad Joke
The following is a true story. There was this little kid who had a bad habit of sucking his thumb. His mother finally told him that if he didn't stop sucking his thumb, he'd get fat. Two weeks later, his mother had her friends over for a game of bridge. The boy points to an obviously pregnant woman and says, 'Ah, ha! I know what you've been doing!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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