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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy mugs and other funny jokes |
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Worlds Best Joke
What do you call a woman outside the kitchen?Answer: A fugitive
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Mad Joke
Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?A: An interpreter.
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Funny Kids Joke
What is a mouse's favorite game?Hide and squeak!
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Situation Joke
Santas DiversionSanta was delivering gifts as usual, when at one house a beautiful young woman wasawaiting his arrival. She begged him to stay and cuddle with her on the couch. Santa declined, saying 'Ho-ho, gotta go. Gotta deliver these presents, you know. 'Trying again, the lovely young thing removed her clothing down to her underwear. 'OH Santa, won't you please stay?' she begged. Taking a long look, Santa sighedand delivered a not too believable, 'Ho-ho, gotta go. Gotta deliver these presentsyou know. 'Not to be denied, this gorgeous female stripped off every stitch of remainingclothing, smiled and said in the sexiest voice imaginable, 'Oh, Santa, pleasereconsider? Stay with me?'With a very pained look on his face, Santa groaned and said very slowly, 'Ho -ho, gotta go. Gotta deliver these presents you know. 'And with that, he turned and left. Two minutes passed, and Santa reappeared, ploppinghimself down on the couch next to the beautiful girl. 'Santa! You decided to stay!' she exclaimed gleefully. Santa grinned and said 'Hey - hey, gotta stay. Can't get up the chimney THIS way!'Sent by Neicey
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School Joke
Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye (or maybe it was Neil McNell from Barra, but anyway. . ) went to study at an English university and was living in the hall of residence with all the other students there. After he had been there a month, his mother came to visit him (no doubt carrying reinforcements of tatties, salt herring, oatmeal and whisky). 'And how do you find the English students, Donald?' she asked. 'Mother, ' he replied, 'they're such terrible, noisy people. The one on that side keeps banging his head on the wall and won't stop. The one on the other side screams and screams all night. ''Oh Donald! How do you manage to put up with these awful noisy English neighbours?''Mother, I do nothing. I just ignore them. I just stay here quietly, playing my bagpipes. '
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Sport Joke
There was a Packers fan with a really crappy seat at Lambeau. Looking with his binoculars, he spotted an empty seat on the 50-yard line. Thinking to himself 'what a waste' he made his way down to the empty seat. When he arrived at the seat, he asked the man sitting next to it, 'Is this seat taken?' The man replied, 'This was my wife's seat. She passed away. She was a big Packers fan. ' The other man replied, 'I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. May I ask why you didn't give the ticket to a friend or a relative?' The man replied, 'They're all at the funeral. '
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Dog Joke - 1
What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an Australian dog ? Dingo Starr !
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Blonde Joke - 1
A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street. Cop: Do you know where you were going? Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people were leaving.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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