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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy movies online and other funny jokes |
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Dirty Joke
Q: Why did the blonde guy ask his girlfriend to squeeze his left testicle? A: Because the road sign said 'Squeeze Left. '
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Cat Joke
Why did the cat join the Red Cross ? Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit !
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At Work Joke
Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant?A: When he realises he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.
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Naughty Joke
A man takes his 10 year old daughter to the doctor. He says 'Doctor, I want to put her on the pill. 'The Doctor says 'Why?!? Is she sexually active?'The guy says 'Nah, she just lies there like her mother. 'Sent by soh
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Totally Weird Joke
These translations are for all of you wonderful women out there, so that you will know what we really mean when we say. . . 'IT'S A GUY THING' 'There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical. ' 'CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?' 'Why isn't it already on the table?' 'UH HUH, ' 'SURE, HONEY, ' OR 'YES, DEAR' Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response. 'IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN' 'I have no idea how it works. ' 'TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD. ' 'I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner. ' 'THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR. ' 'Are you still talking?' 'YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS. ' 'I remember the theme song to 'F Troop, ' the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned. . but I forgot your birthday. ' 'OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL. ' 'I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt. ' 'HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING. ' 'And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon. ' 'I CAN'T FIND IT. ' 'It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless. ' 'WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?' 'What did you catch me at?' 'I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE. ' 'No one will ever see us alive again. ' 'WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK. ' Translated: 'I make the messes she cleans them up. '
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Easy to Remember Joke
Grant's Bar and Casino: Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
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Silliest Joke
Four men are golfing one day. The first man steps up to tee and states boastfully 'My son is so rich that he bought his lover a house'. The second man steps up to tee and says, 'Well, MY son is so rich that he bought his lover a new car'. The third man steps up and says, 'My son is so wealthy that he bought his lover a whole summer home in Miami. 'Finally, the fourth man goes to tee and he says, 'Well, my son isn't rich and self-made like yours and he's gay, and from what I hear, despite my objections, he has 3 separate lovers and from them he just got a new house, a new car, and a summer home in Miami. '
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Naughty Joke
How do you make love to a fat girl?Roll her in flour and go for the wet spot.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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