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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy movie trailers and other funny jokes |
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Monster Joke
Mommy monster: Don't eat that uranium. Little monster: Why not? Mommy monster: You'll get atomic-ache.
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School Joke
Teacher: What's 2 and 2 Pupil: 4 Teacher: That's good Pupil: Good ?, That's perfect !
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Bumper Stickers - 1
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
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Law Enforcement Joke
A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn't find it, so she asked a police officer for directions, 'Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?'The officer replied, 'Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. It'll take you right there. ' She thanked the officer and he drives off. Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and, sure enough, the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop. The officer got out of his car and said, 'Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus. That was three hours ago. Why are you still waiting?'The blonde replied, 'Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now. The 45th bus just went by!'
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Funniest Joke
Why did bill quit playing the saxophone?To play his WhoreMonica
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Children Joke
A little boy did not go to school one day. The next day when the teacher asked him why, he said 'Our cow was on heat, so I had to take her to the Bull'. 'How disgusting' said the teacher 'I am sure your father could have done that' 'No ma'm, he couldn't have' said the little sod 'It has to be the Bull'.
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School Joke
Teacher: Can you count to 10? Fred: Yes, teacher-one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Teacher: Now go on from there. Fred: Jack, Queen, King.
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Firefighter Joke
Three firefighters went out on a hunting trip. There was a rookie, a captain, and a chief. The weather was misrable and they hadn't seen any deer all day. They came across an old shack where they went inside to play a game of poker. After loosing a couple of hands, the rookie threw down his cards and said 'that does it! I am going out to get me a deer. ' Fifteen minutes later, the rookie came back with a nice four point buck. The captain and chief asked, 'how did you get that?' The rookie replied, 'I walked out fifty feet, followed some tracks and shot this buck'. The captain then said, 'I've had enough of this I am going to get my deer. ' He came back a half hour later with a 6-point buck. The chief asked, 'how did you get that?' The captain replied, 'I walked out a hundred feet, followed some tracks and shot this buck. ' The chief not wanting to be out done said 'I am out of here, I am g oing to bag the biggest buck of the day. ' He came back an hour later, all mangled up and bloody. The rookie and captain asked, 'what happened to you?' The chief replied, 'I walked out there five hundred feet, followed some tracks, and got hit by a train. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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