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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy movie clips and other funny jokes |
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Joke for Halloween
There was a couple involved in a very bad car accident. The wife's face was badly burned. The doctors said they could take the burnt skin and replace it with extra skin. The woman's husband gladly allowed the doctors to use some skin from his behind. The woman healed beautifully and ask her husband if there was anything she could do for him for being so nice to donate his skin. And the husband replied, 'no need. . . I get all the satisfaction I could ever want each time your mother kisses you on the cheek!'
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Computer Joke
You know how they use to give immigrants a test when they came to America? Well the last question on the test was to use pink, green and yellow in a sentence. So when the Mexican had his turn he answered the last question: 'When the phone goes 'GREEN GREEN GREEN' I PINK it up and say 'YELLOW?''
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Dumb Joke
A Jehovah's Witness knocked on the front door of a home, and heard a faint, high pitched, 'Come In'. He tried the door and it was locked, so he went around to the back door. He knocked again and heard again the high pitched 'Come In'. As he entered the kitchen a large, mean, snarling Doberman met him. As he plastered himself against the wall he called out for help. Again, he heard the 'Come In'. He slid down the wall to the living room to see a parrot in cage. He said, 'For Pete's sake, is that all you can say is 'Come In'?!' The parrot laughed and said 'Sic him!'
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Marriage Joke
A husband and wife were shopping when the wife said, 'Darling, it's my Mother's birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her? She would like something electric. '
The husband replied, 'How about a chair?!?'
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Movie and TV Joke
Q: How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Just one, if he's got a good crew to do it.
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Hair and bald Joke
A little girl climbed into her grandfather's lap and studied his white, balding head. She ran her fingers along the deep wrinkles and road mapped his face and neck. 'Did god make you?', she asked. 'yes' he answered. 'did god makeme, to?' she wondered. 'yes', he replied. 'well, she shrugged, 'don't you think he's doing a better job now than he used to?'
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Math Joke
Trigonometry for farmers:
Swine and coswine…
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Law Enforcement Joke
A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says 'Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses. 'The woman answered 'Well, I have contacts. 'The policeman replied 'I don't care who you know! You're getting a ticket!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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