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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy gigs and other funny jokes |
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Camping Joke
An elderly fisherman wrote to a mail order house the following: 'Please send me one of those gasoline engines for my boat you show on page '438
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Kids Joke
One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one raises his/her hand. The teacher says 'See it's long neck? What animal has a long neck?'Sally holds up her hand and asks if it is a giraffe. 'Very good Sally, ' the teacher replies. Next she holds up a picture of a zebra. None of the students holds up his/her hands. 'See the stripes on this animal? What animal has stripes?' Billy holds up his hand and says it is a zebra. 'Very good Billy, ' the teacher replies. Next she holds up a picture of a deer. None of the students recognized the animal. 'See the big antlers on this animal. What animal has horns like this?'Still no one guesses. 'Let me give you another hint, it's something your mother calls your father. 'Johnny shouts out 'I know what it is, it's a horny bastard. '
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Dog Joke - 1
What did the dog do with the history professor? They got together and talked over old times.
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Birthday Joke
Joe was sitting at a bar. He was totally depressed. The bartender, serving him a drink, asked what was wrong. 'I'll never understand women' said Joe. 'The other night on my birthday, my wife said as my gift, I could do with her what I wanted. ' 'Wow! That's quite some gift' said the bartender. 'So why are you so dejected?' 'Well I thought about it for a while' said Joe, 'and decided to send her home to her mother, and now she won't even speak to me!'
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Bumper Stickers - 7
Who are these kids and why are they calling me MOM?
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Relationships Joke
A young couple were married and celebrated their first nighttogether, doing what newlyweds do, time and time again, allnight long. Morning comes and the groom goes into thebathroom but finds no towel when he emerges from the shower. He asks the bride to please bring one from the bedroom. Whenshe gets to the bathroom door, he opened the door, exposinghis body for the first time to his bride. Her eyes went up and down and at about midway, they stoppedand stared and she asked shyly, 'What's that?' pointing to a smallpart of his anatomy. He, also being shy, thought for a minute and then said, 'Well, that'swhat we had so much fun with last night. 'And she, in amazement, asked, 'Is that all we have left?'
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Bumper Stickers - 6
Stupid is as stupid does.
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Funny Joke Online
A man walks into a shul with a dog. The shammas comes up to him and says, 'Pardon me, this is a House of Worship, you can't bring your dog in here. ''What do you mean, ' says the man, 'this is a Jewish dog. Look. 'And the shammas looks carefully and sees that in the same way that a St. Bernard carries a brandy barrel round its neck this dog has a tallis bag round its neck. 'Rover, ' says the man, 'daven!'. 'Woof!' says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens the tallis bag, takes out a kipa and puts it on his head. 'Woof!' says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens the tallis bag, takes out a tallis and puts it round his neck. 'Woof!' says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens the tallis bag, takes out a siddur and starts to daven. 'That's fantastic, ' says the shammas, 'absolutely amazing, incredible! You should take him to Hollywood, get him on television, get him in the movies, you could make a million dollars off of him!!''You speak to him, ' says the man, 'He wants to be a doctor. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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