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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy fancy dress and other funny jokes |
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Politics Humor
In light of the latest allegations against President Clinton, Woodward and Bernstein of Watergate fame are in negotiations with publishers to write a new book about the scandal. Working title: 'All the President's Women. '
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Pig Joke
What kind of furniture do pigs like best? Overstuffed.
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Blonde Joke - 3
Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? A: Proofreading.
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Business Joke
The Americans and Japanese decided to engage in a boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance levels. On the big day they felt ready. The Japanese won by a mile. The American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommend corrective action. The consultant's finding: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering: the American team had one person rowing and eight people steering. After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the consultant firm concluded that too many people were steering and not enough were rowing on the American team. So as race day neared again the following year, the American's team management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure: four steering managers, three area steering managers, and a new performance review system for the person rowing the boat to provide work incentive. The next year, the Japanese won by TWO miles! Humiliated, the American corporation laid off the rower for poor performance and gave the managers a bonus for discovering the problem.
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American Joke
The Blackfeet asked their Chief in autumn, if the winter was going to be cold or not. Not really knowing the answer, the chief replies that the winter was going to be cold and that the members of the village were to collect wood to be prepared.
Being a good leader, he then went to the nearest phone booth and called the National Weather Service and asked, 'Is this winter to be cold?' The man on the phone responded, 'This winter was going to be quite cold indeed. '
So the Chief went back to speed up his people to collect even more wood to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again, 'Is it going to be a very cold winter?'
'Yes,' the man replied, 'its going to be a very cold winter. '
So the Chief goes back to his people and orders them to go and find
every scrap of wood they can find. Two weeks later he calls the National Weather Service again and asks 'Are you absolutely sure, that the winter is going to be very cold?'
'Absolutely' the man replies, 'the Blackfeet are collecting wood like crazy!'
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Random Joke
Not only is she a little young, but you're sure that you used to dateher mother. . . . You find out her real name is Vinnie, and you used to play littleleague with her. . . . She has a thicker moustache than you. . . . When you go to pick her up, her lawyer meets you at the door with a contract describing your duties and restrictions. . . . You jokingly ask her if she wants to go down to Atlantic City and get married. She then informs you that leaving the state is a violation of her parole. . . . Her bra and panties are wired to an alarm system. . . . You are the first guy that she's gone out with that isn't her cousin. . . . At the end of the night she gives you a coupon that is good for a free shot of penicillin at the nearest clinic. . . . She beats up some guy for making fun of your hair cut. . . . You wake up the next morning with a wicked hang-over. In the bed next to you is Janet Reno. . . . At the end of the night, you drop her off at her house, and her pimp is waiting there with your bill. . . . She keeps staring at you all through dinner, then finally asks if you want to meet satan. . . . She constantly complains that her cat won't stop laughing at her. . . . She informs you that you can't go out again because her spirit guide doesn't like you. . . . She informs you that you can't go out again because her boyfriend doesn't like you.
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Military Joke
Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was sitting at his desk when a PFC knocked on the door. Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the PFC to enter, then said into the phone, 'Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir. ' Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressedthe young enlisted man, he asked, 'What do you want?' 'Nothing important, sir, ' the PFC replied, 'I'm just here to hook up your telephone. '
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Ghost Joke
What kind of street does a ghost like best? A dead end.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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