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pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy events and other funny jokes |
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Ethnic Humor
An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site. The foreman points to a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, 'You're in charge of sweeping. ' To the Scotsman, he says, 'You're in charge of shoveling. ' And to the Chinese guy, 'You're in charge of supplies. ' The foreman then shrugs his beefy shoulders and says, 'Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a good dent in that pile of sand by the time I get back. ' A few hours later when the foreman returns, he sees that the pile of sand is still untouched. Pointing to the pile of sand, the forman says to the Italian, 'Why didn't you sweep any of it?' The Italian replies in a heavy accent, 'I no gotta broom. You tella the Chinesea guy he inna charge of a supplies, but hea disappeara, and I coulda no finda him!' Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and asks, ' Didn't I tell you to shovel that sand?' The Scotsman replies in his heavy brogue, 'Aye, ye did, laddie, but I couldna get meself a shovel. Ye left the Chinee in charge of supplies, but I couldna find him!' The foreman is really angry now and storms off toward the pile of sand, looking for the Chinese guy. Just then, the Chinese guy springs out from behind the pile of sand and yells, 'SUPPLIES!'
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Animal World
A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said 'My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?' 'Well, ' said the vet, 'lets have a look at him. ' So he picks the dog up and has a good look at its eyes. 'Hmm, ' says the vet, 'I'm going to have to put him down' 'Just because he's cross-eyed?' says the man. 'No, because he's heavy, ' says the vet.
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Insect Joke
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple ? Because everyone had to go on in pairs !
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Kids Fairy Tale Joke
What is Robin Hood's favourite radio programme?
The Archers!
Where did Robin's Merry Men go to buy their sweets?
The Friar's Tuck-shop!
Why couldn't Robin Hood hit the target?
Because his arrows were all in a quiver!
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Doctor and nurse Joke
A man who was very upset walked in to see his doctor. 'Doctor, you've got to help me!' he wailed. 'What seems to be the trouble?' asked the doctor. 'I keep having the same dream, night after night. There's this door with a sign on it, and I push and push the door but I can't get it open. ' 'What does the sign say?' asked the Doctor. 'Pull, ' said the patient.
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Weird Women Joke
In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
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Joke Online
I recently had surgery on my hand, and asked the doctor if, after surgery, I would be able to play the banjo. He said, 'I'm doing surgery on your hand, not giving you a lobotomy. '
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Practical Joke
The Top Ten Things Men Know About Women:10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1(ATTENTION. . . if you don't get it, seek help fast :)
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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