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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy duologues and other funny jokes |
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Law Enforcement Joke
The Pope was getting into his limo one night when he turned to the limo driver and said, “Before I die, I would love to drive this beautiful limo just once. ”
“Well, here,” the limo driver says, “Take the wheel, Your Holiness!”
Further down the road, the limo is stopped by a policeman who looks in the window, goes back to his squad car, calls dispatch and says, “I just pulled over someone real important and I don’t know what to do. ”
“Well, who is it?” his dispatcher says, “The mayor? The governor? The president?”
“I don’t know,” the officer responds, “but the Pope’s his chauffer!”
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Bar Joke - 1
One evening, Frank was drinking at a bar when the bartender came over to tell Frank that he had a telephone call. Frank had just bought another beer and he didn't want anyone else to drink it. So, Fred wrote a little sign and left it by his beer that read: 'I spit in my beer. 'When Fred returned to his bar stool, there was another note beside his beer: 'I spit in your beer, too!'
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Face Joke
What is the hottest part of a man's face? His sideburns.
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Practical Joke
You can have a woman president without electing her You can spell colour wrong and get away with it You can call Budweiser beer You can be a crook and still be president If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything If you can breathe you can get a gun You can invent a new public holiday every year You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care. You get to call everyone you've never met 'buddy' You can think you're the greatest nation on earth. You can get a pizza within minutes of ordering.
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Cow Joke
Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor? A: Laughing stock.
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Science Joke
The Three Laws of Thermodynamics 1. You can't win. 2. You can't break even. 3. You can't quit the game.
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Weirdest Joke
Why do men like frozen microwave dinners so much?They like being able to both eat and make love in under 5 minutes.
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Short Stupid Joke
Once there was this guy, lets call him Fred, who had a very small penis. Poor Fred thought if only he had larger equipment then maybe the chicks would like him more. One day Fred went into the mens room and a very short man dressed in green was standing there peeing. Well, Fred couldn't help but notice what an enourmous penis the man had and he said as much. 'How did it get so big?' he asked incredulously. 'With magic, ' the man replied, 'I am a leprechaun. 'Fred was amazed. 'Can you make mine that big?'The leprechaun could and said he would if Fred would only do him a small favor. . . to bend over and let him have his way with Fred. Fred agreed and did so. When they were finished he pulled his pants back up and stood. 'How old are you boy?' the man in green asked as he stood at the door. 'Thirty. Why?''You're thirty years old and you still believe in leprechauns?'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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