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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy drum roll and other funny jokes |
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Sad Joke
A lonely divorcee was driving home from work one evening when she saw a man trying to hitch a ride. She picked him up and they got to talking. 'What do you do?' she asked him. 'I recently escaped from prison for having killed my wife. ' 'Oh, does that mean you are available?'
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Funny College Joke
How do you measure a Villanova graduate's I. Q. ? With a tire gauge.
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College Humor
A doctor pulls out a thermometer from his shirt pocket. He looks at it and says, 'Shit, some asshole has my pen!!!'
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Kids Puns
Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead. The first went in to see the counselor, who told him to take math, history, and logic. 'What's logic?' the first redneck asked. The professor answered, 'Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?' 'I sure do. ' 'Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard, ' replied the professor. 'That's real good!' said the redneck. The professor continued, 'Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house. ' Impressed, the redneck said, 'Amazing!' 'And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife. ' 'That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!' The redneck was catching on. 'Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual, ' said the professor. 'You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I cain't wait to take that logic class!' The redneck, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where his friend was still waiting. 'So what classes are ya takin'?' asked the friend. 'Math, history, and logic!' replied the first redneck. 'What in tarnation is logic?' asked his friend. 'Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed eater?' asked the first redneck. 'No, ' his friend replied. 'You're queer, ain't ya?'
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Redneck Joke
What's blue and sings alone? - Dan Ackroyd.
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Spoof Joke
A mother-in-law visits her son-in-law before leaving for a trip. They are sipping coffee and chatting. Suddenly, mother-in-law looks at the clock and jumps off her chair exclaiming, 'My god! It's already three P. M. I'm about to miss my train!' She begins to put her clothes on in a hurry. At this moment, the son-in-law's daughter runs up to her and before he can do anything and announces, 'Don't hurry, granny! Daddy moved the clock two hours ahead!'
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Lawyer Joke
Two women are on a transcontinental balloon voyage. Their craft is engulfed in fog, their compass gone awry. Afraid of landing in the ocean, they drift for days. Suddenly, the clouds part to show a sunlit meadow below. As they descend, they see a man walking his dog. One of the flyers yells to the figure far below, 'Where are we?'The man yells back, 'About a half mile from town. 'Once again, the balloonists are engulfed in the mist. One flyer says to the other, 'He must have been a lawyer. 'The other says, 'A lawyer! How do you know that?'The first says, 'That?s easy. The information he gave us was accurate, concise, and entirely irrelevant. '
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Mental health Joke
What happens if you tell a psychiatrist you are schizophrenic? He charges you double.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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