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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy courses and other funny jokes |
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Zodiac Joke
Q: How many Sagittarians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Look, ask me when I get back from India, okay?
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Old People Joke
We're over the hill but don't feel sad
This side of the hill ain't all that bad.
So give us 'five' and then a smile
To us who have been here for awhile.
With by-pass pain and mended hip
And plumbing fixtures prone to drip;
We all may seem a sorry lot,
But we rejoice for what we've got.
We have each day and what it brings
And on our pensions live like kings.
For the press that accuses what we take
To coin a phrase, 'Let them eat cake. '
We've paid our share for unused knowledge
As the kids are now all done with college.
We complain to them about our health
As they worry about our dwindling wealth.
And though our wardrobes may be plain
We'll suffer no more labor or pain.
Now it's with cane we do our strut
And if we can't drive - we still can putt.
We're mean and tough, meet all demands,
Why, M&M's melt in our hands.
Yes, we're still here, and it does delight us
That you join our fight against arthritis.
But we ask you make a pledge today
That you'll be careful what you say.
We have to spread 'Over the Hill' fear
Or we'll have those young folks over here.
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Joke for Speeches
Late For WorkThe secretary came in late for work for the third day in a row. The boss called her into his office and said, 'Now look Sharon, I know we had a wild fling for a while, but that's over. I expect you to conduct yourself like any other employee around here. Who told you you could come and go as you please around here?'Sharon simply smiled, lit up a cigarette, and while exhaling said, 'My lawyer. '
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Bird Joke
What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning ? An alarm cluck !
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Computer Joke
What do you get if you cross a computer with a ballet dancer? The Netcracker suite.
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Bird Joke
How can you tell if a parrot is intelligent? It speaks in Polly-syllables!
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Funny Joke - 50 best Joke
A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. 'Look at their reserve, their calm, ' muses the Brit. 'They must be British. ' 'Nonsense, ' the Frenchman disagrees. 'They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French. ' 'No clothes, no shelter, ' the Russian points out, 'they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. They are Russian. '
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Dog Joke - 2
What dog takes the money and runs fast!
A payhound!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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