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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy costumes and other funny jokes |
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Hair and bald Joke
Teacher: I see you don't cut your hair any longer. Fred: No sir, I cut it shorter.
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Aviation Joke
As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane. When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. 'Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?' she asked. 'No, thanks, ' replied the vultures. 'They're carrion. '
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Friendship Joke
I went out with my girlfriend and asked her, 'Why is it everytime I go out with you, I end upspending hundreds of dollars?''Because I'm a prostitute. '
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Spiked Humor
A fool and his money are asked to go everywhere! A fool and his money are soon elected. A fool and his money are soon popular. A fool and his money is my kind of customer! If money's the root of all evil, why do churches want it? All I ask is to prove that money can't make me happy. Come to Florida, bring money, BUT GET THE HECK OFF OUR BEACH! Even the blind can see money. Expert - Someone who knows less, but makes more money. It's not the money I want, it's the stuff. Life is a game. Money is how we keep score. Money burns a hole in my pocket. . . how about yours? Money is like an arm or leg, use it or lose it. Money is the root of all bills. Money may buy 'friendship, ' but it cannot buy love. Money Talks - and it usually says NO!! Never forget a friend, especially if he owes you money. Political Motto: I had some morals; sold them for money. This country has the best politicians money can buy. Time and Money. Two things we don't have enough of. . . . Turbo-Tax took money out of my Quicken directory. Visit your money this year - vacation in Washington D. C. When money talks, it usually says 'Bend over. ' You infernal machine! Give me a soda or my money back! Alimony? . . . sounds kind like all yer money No one kills over drugs . . . They kill over money. Massachusetts has the best politicians money can buy.
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Just for Laughs Joke
Two Blonde men were in the woods hunting. One looked at the other and said, 'I've got to take a crap. ' The other said, 'Well go behind one of those big trees, and crap. ' The first one said, 'But I don't have any paper to wipe my ass. ' The other blonde replied, 'You have a dollar, don't you?' The first one said, 'Yeah, I've got a dollar. That's a great idea-- I'll use that!' He left and came back with crap all over his hands and clothes. His friend looked at him and asked, 'What in the hell happened to you?' The first one replied, 'Have you ever tried to wipe your ass with 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel?'
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Elephant Joke
What's the difference between an elephant and a bad pupil ? One rarely bites and the other barely writes !
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Ethnic Joke - 1
Did you hear about the hillbilly who went into the hardware store to buy a chain saw ? He said I want one that will cut down at least 10 trees a day. He was back at the hardware store with the saw a couple days later complaining that it only cut one tree and that took all day. The clerk at the hardware store started the saw to see what the problem was. The hillbilly jumped back and said what the hell is that noise?
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Easy to Remember Joke
A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section. The stewardess tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, 'I'm blonde, I'm smart and I have a good job. I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica. ' The stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the woman to leave and she says, 'I'm blonde, I'm smart, and I have a good job. I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica. ' The stewardesses doesn't know what to do because they have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off, so they get the copilot. The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot what he said to get her to move. The copilot replies, 'I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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