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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy club southampton and other funny jokes |
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Animal World
There was once a wide mouth frog. She had babies and she didn't know what to feed them. She went to the cow, talking with her mouth real wide, she said, 'COW, WHAT DO YOU FEED YOUR BABIES?' The Cow said, 'I feed my babies milk. ' She went on to the horse. Talking with her mouth real wide, she said, 'HORSE, WHAT DO YOU FEED YOUR BABIES?' 'I feed my babies hay. ' said the horse. Finally she came to a snake. Talking with her mouth real wide, she said, 'SNAKE, WHAT DO YOU FEED YOUR BABIES?' The snake said, 'I feed my babies wide mouth frogs. ' So the frog said, with her mouth really small, 'Oh, is that so. '
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Mad Joke
Q:What protection does a nymphomaniac use during sex? A:A bus shelter.
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Law and Lawyer Joke
A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his ulcer. The doctor mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the lawyer and remarked, 'I never know how to handle the situation when I'm asked for medical advice during a social function. Is it acceptable to send a bill for such advice?' The lawyer replied that it was certainly acceptable to do so. The next day, the doctor sent the ulcer-stricken man a bill. The lawyer also sent one to the doctor.
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Dentist Joke
I thought, Miss Smith, that you wanted yesterday afternoon off because you were seeing your dentist? That's right, Sir. So how come I saw you coming out of the movie theatre with a friend? That was my dentist.
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Barbie doll Joke
There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Tasmanian Barbie . . . spins like a top!
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Bumper Stickers - 4
I Think Feminists Are Cute!
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Internet Joke
Have you seen www. busfull. com? No, I'm afraid that one passed me by.
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Mad Joke
A man has a car wreck and they have to amputate his brain. So the nurse takes him to the brain transplant wearhouse. On one side of the shelves are lined with brains marked $500. 00 each. On the other side the shelves are lined with brains marked $200. 00 each. The brainless man asks why the price differece. The nurse points to the $200. 00 brains and explains that these are female brains, so they've been used.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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