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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy club piccadilly circus and other funny jokes |
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Children Joke
A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner 'Mom& Pop' grocery picking out a pretty good size box of laundrydetergent. The grocer walked over, and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do. 'Oh, no laundry, ' the boy said, 'I'm going to wash my dog. ''But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog. It's verypowerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll get sick. Infact, it might even kill him. ' But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergentto the counter and paid for it, even as the grocer still tried totalk him out of washing his dog. About a week later the boy was back in the store to buy somecandy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing. 'Oh, he died, ' the boy said. The grocer, trying not to be an 'I-told-you-so', said he wassorry the dog died but added, 'I tried to tell you not to usethat detergent on your dog. ' 'Well, the boy replied, 'I don't think it was the detergentthat killed him. ' 'Oh? What was it then?' 'I think it was the spin cycle!'
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Dirty Joke
A minister gave a talk to the Lions Club on sex. When he got home, he couldn't tell his wife that he had spoken about sex, so he said he had discussed horseback riding with the members. A few days later, she ran into some men at the shopping center and they complimented her on the speech her husband had made. She said, 'Yes, I heard. I was surprised about the subject matter, as he's only tried it twice. The first time he got so sore he could hardly walk, and the second time he fell off. '
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Bumper Stickers - 6
People before profits!
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Christmas Joke - 2
Ten signs you're not getting a christmas bonus10. Co-workers refer to you as 'the ghost of unemployment future' 9. The last time you saw your boss was when he testified against you at the embezzlement trial 8. On your door, you find a lovely wreath of pink slips 7. What you call 'my new office, ' everybody else calls 'the supply closet' 6. Boss's Christmas card says, 'Don't let the door hit you on the way out' 5. You keep getting memos reminding you that employees are required to wear pants 4. When your boss came over for Thanksgiving, he was crushed under an avalanche of stolen office supplies 3. Whenever you ask for a raise, a guy shows up at your house and breaks your jaw 2. In your most recent performance evaluation, the word 'terrible' appeared 78 times 1. You're the starting quarterback for the New York Jets
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Religion Joke
There was this hooker who mistook a Salvation Army man fora soldier and propositioned him. The Salvation Army gent said, 'Ma'am, you may be forgiven, as a pitiable victim of circumstances. Tell me, are you familiar with the concept of 'original sin'?'The hooker replied, 'Well, maybe and maybe not. But ifit's 'really' original, it'll cost you an extra $20. '
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Book title Joke
Igloo Building by S Keemo
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Situations Humor
There was this Asian lady married to an American gentleman and theylived in Honolulu. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. She didn'tknow how to put forward her request, and in desperation, lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. The butcher got the message and the lady went home with pork legs. The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn't know how to say, and so she unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breast. The lady got what she wanted. The 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a wayto communicate this, she brought her husband to the store. . . What were you thinking? Helloooooooooo, her husband speaks English!!
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Bumper Stickers - 4
I love animals - they taste great!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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