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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy club norwich and other funny jokes |
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Dumb People Joke
One of my friends works in the customer service call center of a national pager company. He deals with the usual complaints regarding poor pager operation, as well as the occasional crank caller demanding to be paged less often, more often, or by more interesting people. The best call came from a man who repeatedly complained that he keeps being paged by 'Lucille. ' He was instructed that he would have to call her and tell her to stop paging him. 'She don't never leave no number, so I can't call her back, ' he said. After three such calls, someone thought to ask how he knew it was Lucille if she didn't leave a number. 'She leaves her name, ' was the reply. After establishing that the customer had a numericonly pager, the light bulb came on. 'How does she spell her name?' the service rep asked. 'L-O-W C-E-L-L' Another problem solved.
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Weird Women Joke
The modest young lass had just purchased some lingerie and asked if she might have the sentence, 'If you can read this you're too damn close' embroidered on her panties and bra. 'Yes Madame, ' said the clerk. 'I'm quite certain that could be done. Would you prefer block or script letters?' 'Braille, ' she replied.
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Teeth Joke
Willie: 'I have an awful toothache. ' Tommie: 'I'd have it taken out if it was mine. ' Willie: 'Yes, if it was yours, I would, too. '
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Knock Knock Joke - 1
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Anna.
Anna who?
Anna other knock knock jokes?
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Military Joke
A warrant officer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said, 'If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess'. He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, 'If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week. ' The warrant officer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, 'If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want. ' Again the warrant officer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, 'What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?' The warrant officer said, 'Look I'm an warrant officer. I dont have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now That's cool. '
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Funniest Joke
Bill Clinton dies and goes to hell. Satan is giving him a VIP tour, showing him his options for spending eternity. They come to a room marked 'Hitler. ' Inside is Eva Braun, torturing Adolf Hitler with red-hot irons. Every time Hitler tries to escape, Eva applies another iron. 'I can't spend eternity like that, ' says Clinton. 'Show me something else. ' Satan takes him to another room marked 'Jack the Ripper. 'Inside are three mutilated prostitutes, stretching Jack on the rack. Every time Jack screams, the whores turn the wheel a little more. 'I can't spend eternity like that, either, ' says Clinton. 'Show me something better. ' Satan takes Bill to the last door. Inside, Kenneth Starr is being held up to the wall with chains around his wrists. At his groin is Monica Lewinsky giving him oral sex. Bill smiles. 'Yes!' he shouts, 'that's for me. ' Satan smirks and says 'Good choice, Mr. President. 'He looks down at Monica and says. . . 'You can get up now, Honey. We've finally found your replacement!'
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Redneck Joke
What sexual position makes an ugly baby? Ask your mom!
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Ethnic Joke - 1
How do you stop a taliban tank ? Shoot the Guy Pushing it
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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