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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy club manchester and other funny jokes |
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Vampire Joke
Why did the vampire go crazy at Burger King? He saw all that catsup and wanted a transfusion.
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Easter Joke
A man wanted an Easter pet for his daughter. He looked at a baby chick and a baby duck. They were both very cute, but he decided to buy the baby chick. Do you know why? The baby chick was a little cheeper!
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Funny Kids Joke
How many skunks does it take to cause a big stink?
A phew!
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Funny School Kids Joke
What is a mosquito's favorite sport?Skin-diving!
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School Joke
While visiting a country school, the chairman of the Board Of Education became provoked at the noise the unruly students were making in the next room.
Angrily, he opened the door and grabbed one of the taller boys who seemed to be doing most of the talking. He dragged the boy to the next room and stood him in the corner.
A few minutes later, a small boy stuck his head in the room and pleaded, 'Please, sir, may we have our teacher back?'
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Joke for Halloween
Office work dull?. . . None of your colleagues appreciate your humour?. . . Amuse yourself. Points are awarded on a degree of difficulty basis. You can award yourself extra points for creative executionONE-POINT GAGS Run one lap around the office at top speed Groan out loud in the bathroom cubicle (at least one other'non-player' must be in the bathroom at the time) When they're not looking, pour most of someone's fresh cup of coffee into your mug leaving them with an inch of brew. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say 'Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye' To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace. When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, 'Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!' Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, 'Sorry, I really prefer it this way' Walk sideways to the photcopier. While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors openTHREE-POINT GAGS Say to your boss, 'I like your style' and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers. Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask 'Did you get All that, I don't want to have to repeat it' Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight). Shout random numbers while someone is countingFIVE POINT GAGS At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself). Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as 'Bob' Announce to everyone in a meeting that you 'really have to go do number two' After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamacian accent, as in, 'the report's on your desk, mon'. Keep this up for one hour While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, 'Shut up, damm it, all of you just shut up!' At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce 'As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again'. In a colleagues diary, write in 10am: 'See how I look in tights' Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask 'You wanna trade?' Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: 'Do you hear that?' 'What?' 'Never mind, it's gone now' Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, 'I can' talk about it' Posing as a maitre d
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Burger Joke
When does a hamburger wear a look like a smile button? When somebody says, 'Well done'!
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Fishing Joke
Who sleeps at the bottom of the sea ? Jack the kipper !
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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