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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy club kingston and other funny jokes |
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Simple Joke
Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. 'Dear, ' she chirped, 'I think it's time to tell him he's adopted. '
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Children Joke
A little girl came running into the house crying and miserable from a small cut she just received. She asked her mom for a glass of cider. 'Why do you want cider?' asked Mom. 'To take the pain away, ' sobbed the little girl. Tired of all the tears, Mom poured her a glass. The little girl immediately put her hand into the drink. 'It doesn't work!' she yelled. 'What do you mean?' asked Mom. 'Well, ' sniffed the little girl, 'I overheard my sister say that whenever she gets a prick in her hand, she can't wait to get it in cider. '
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Knock Knock Joke - 1
Knock Knock Who's there ! Adolf ! Adolf who ? Adolf ball hit me in the mouth !
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Relationships Joke
A bored woman says to her husband as she clasps her hands together, 'Guess what I have in here and you'll get some loving tonite. ' The equally bored husband, wishing to avoid any kind of sex at all replies, 'An elephant'. The wife sez 'That's close enough!'
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Ethnic Joke - 2
My mother is a typical Jewish mother. Once she was on jury duty. . . They sent her home. She insisted SHE was guilty.
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Bumper Stickers - 1
Oh sure. But what's the speed of dark?
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Situation Joke
The Young Man's Big Mouth A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of '3
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Blonde Joke - 1
A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park one morning. Suddenly, the brunette notices a dead bird. 'Awww, look at the dead birdie, ' she says sadly. The blonde stops, looks up into the sky, and says, 'Where? Where?'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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