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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy club cardiff bay and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 5
If you can read this, I am parked.
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Bird Joke
What do you call a vulture with no beak? A head banger.
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Instrument Joke
Q: How do you make a trombone sound like a french horn?A: Stick your hand in the bell and play lots of wrong notes. Q: How do you make a french horn sound like a trombone?A: Take your hand out of the bell and lose all sense of taste. Q: How do you make a french horn sound like a trombone?A: Take your hand out of the bell and miss all of the notes. Q: What's the definition of a gentleman?A: Somone who knows how to play the trombone and doesn't. Q: What is the difference between a trombone and a trumpet?A: A trombone will bend before it breaks. Q: There is a frog driving east and a trombonist walking west. What can be surmised from this?A: The frog's probably on its way to a gig. Orchestral trombonists count so much rest and play so many repeated figures that the sheep story also works. Trombone: a slide whistle with delusions of granduer.
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Cowboy Joke
Swint and Fess, two Oklahoma cowboys, were resting their horses out on the range. 'What'd Emmaline give yew for yore birthday?' asked Swint. 'Pair of cufflinks, ' said Fess. 'But I ain't got no use for them. I can't even find anyplace to get my wrists pierced. '
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Bumper Stickers - 5
Instead of concentrating on this bumper sticker, maybe you should be concentrating on the road!
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Dog Joke - 1
Paul got off the elevator on the 40th floor and nervously knocked on his blind date's door. She opened it and was as beautiful and charming as everyone had said. 'I'll be ready in a few minutes, ' she said. 'Why don't you play with Rollo while you're waiting? He does wonderful tricks. He rolls over, shakes hands, sits up, and if you make a hoop with your arms, he'll jump through. ' The dog followed Paul onto the balcony and started rolling over. Paul made a hoop with his arms and Rollo jumped through -- and over the balcony railing. Just then Paul's date walked out. 'Isn't Rollo the cutest, happiest dog you've ever seen?' 'To tell the the truth, ' he replied, 'he seemed a little depressed to me. '
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Spiked Humor
A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?' And the father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying!' ~~~ First guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!' Second guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive. '
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Christmas Joke - 1
What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree ? A pineapple !
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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