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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy club booking and other funny jokes |
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Salesmen Joke
A door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman manages to bull his way into a woman's home in a rural area. 'This machine is the best ever' he exclaims, whilst pouring a bag of dirt over the lounge floor. The woman says she's really worried it may not all come off, so the salesman says, 'If this machine doesn't remove all the dust completely, I'll lick it off myself. ' 'Do you want ketchup on it?' she says, 'we're not connected for electricity yet!'
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Very Silly Joke
Sung to the tune of 'Winter Wonderland'Doorbell rings, I'm not list'nin
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Friendship Joke
A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. 'Oh, we'll never need that. My wife and I have a great relationship, 'the husband explained. 'She was a communications major in college and I majored in theatre arts. ' He continued, 'She communicates well and I act like I'm listening. '
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School Joke
Bad timing for an excuse Teacher: Why were you late? Pupil: Sorry, teacher, I overslept. Teacher: It's three in the afternoon!
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Dinosaur Joke
What's red on the outside and green on the inside? A dinosaur wearing red pajamas.
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Romance Joke
After she woke up, a woman told her husband, 'I just dreamedthat you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. Whatdo you think it means?''You'll know tonight. ' he said. That evening, the man came home with a package and gave it tohis wife. Delighted, she opened it - to find a book entitled'The meaning of dreams'
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Bed Joke
A little boy came downstairs crying late one night. 'What's wrong?' asked his mother. 'Do people really come from dust, like they said in church?' he sobbed. 'In a way they do, ' said his mother. 'And when they die so they turn back to dust?' 'Yes, they do. ' The little boy began to cry again. 'Well, under my bed there's someone either coming or going. '
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Clinton Joke
Q: If called to testify in a trial how long will it before before Clinton commits perjury? A: When he's sworn in.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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