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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy clip art and other funny jokes |
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Mother Joke
Four Catholic ladies were having coffee.
The first Catholic woman tells her friends 'My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father. '
The second Catholic woman chirps, 'My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people call him, 'Your Grace. '
The third Catholic mother says, 'My son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Eminence. '
Since the fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence, the first three women give her this subtle, 'Well?'
So she replies, 'My son is a gorgeous, 6' 2', hard-bodied dancer. When he walks into a room, people say, 'Oh my God!'
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Miscellaneous Joke
A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle. 'It`s for my husband, ' she tells the clerk. 'Did he tell you what gauge to get?' asked the clerk. 'Are you kidding?' she says. 'He doesn`t even know that I`m going to shoot him!'
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College Humor
What do you call a prostitute with her hand down her panties?Self-employed!
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Mad Joke
Did ya hear about the blonde lesbian? She liked guys!
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Bumper Stickers - 4
I swerve for cats.
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Medicine Joke
A Short History of MedicineI have an earache. . . 2000 B. C. - Here, eat this root. 1000 A. D. - That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer. 1850 A. D. - That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion. 1940 A. D. - That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill. 1985 A. D. - That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic. 2000 A. D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.
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Joke for Speeches
A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 and the bride was 23. The groom looked pretty feeble and the feeling was that the wedding night might kill him, because his bride was a healthy, vivacious young woman. But lo and behold, the next morning, the bride came down the main staircase slowly, step by step, hanging onto the banister for dear life. She finally managed to get to the counter of the little shop in the hotel. The clerk looked really concerned, 'Whatever happened to you, honey? You look like you've been wrestling an alligator!' The bride groaned, hung on to the counter and managed to speak, 'Ohhh God! He told me he'd been saving up for 75 years and I thought he meant his money!!'
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Dumb People Joke
In a west Texas town, employees in a medium-sized warehouse noticed the smell of gas. Sensibly, management evacuated the building, extinguishing all potential sources of ignition -- lights, power, etc. After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas company were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the lights worked. Witnesses later described the scene of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that resembled a lighter. Upon operation of the lighter-like object, the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles away. Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter was virtually untouched by the explosion. The technician that was suspected of causing the explosion had never been thought of as 'bright' by his peers.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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