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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy classes and other funny jokes |
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Simple Joke
Q: What did one flea say to the other flea? A: Shall we walk or take a dog?
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Hair and bald Joke
If the Pilgrims came over on the Mayflower, how did the barbers arrive? On clipper ships.
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Dog Joke - 2
What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic ? His bark was much worse than it's bite !
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Bizarre Joke
An Australian Combat Field Engineer Sergeant and a U. S Marine were on exchange duty and were sharing the latrines. The Aussie Sergeant finished first and walked out without washing his hands. The U. S Marine watched in disgust, finished his squirt, washed his hands and walked up to the Aussie Sergeant and said. ' In the U. S Marine Corps we were taught to wash our hands after a leak'. The rather large Aussie Sergeant replied, ' In the Australian Army mate, we were taught not to piss on our hands . . . ! '
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Joke of the Day
* Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play. Normally one club and two (2) balls. * Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the holes. * Owner of the course must approve the equipment before may begin. * For most effective play, the club must have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check the shaft stiffness before play begins. * Course owners reserve the right to restrict the shaft length to avoid any damage to the course. * Unlike outdoor golf, the goal is to get the club into the hole, while keeping the balls out. * The object of the game is to take as many strokes as deemed necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course in the future. * It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course with special attention being given to the well formed bunkers. * Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they may have played or currently playing to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage a players equipment for this reason. * Players should assure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing what they consider to be a private course. * Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternate means of play when this is the case. Players are encouraged to have proper rain gear along, just in case. * Players are advised to obtain the course owners permission before attempting to play the back nine. * Slow play is encouraged, however, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the request of the course owner. * It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match. * The course owner will be the sole judge as to who is the best player. * Players are advised to think twice before considering membership at a given course. Additional assessments may be levied by the course owner, and the rules are subject to change. For this reason many players prefer to continue to play several different courses.
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Animal World
A horse and a rabbit A horse and a rabbit are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into amud hole and is sinking. He calls to the rabbit to go and get thefarmer to help pull him out to safety. The rabbit runs to the farm butthe farmer can't be found. He drives the farmer's Mercedes back to themud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws theother end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the carforward saving him from sinking!A few days later, the rabbit and horse were playing in the meadowagain and the rabbit fell into the mud hole. The rabbit yelled to thehorse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, 'I think I can stand over the hole!' So he stretchedover the width of the hole and said, 'Grab for my dick and pullyourself up. ' And the rabbit did and pulled himself to safety. The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don't need aMercedes!
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Naughty Joke
How is sex like air?It's no big thing unless you aren't getting any.
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Political Joke
A reporter heard Bush and one of his underlings talking in the hallway: 'Mr President, how do we know for sure Iraq has weapons of mass destruction?' Pres says: 'You think we're stupid boy??? We made copies of all the receipts!!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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