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bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy cheltenham and other funny jokes |
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Dumb People Joke
What is six inches long, two inches wide, has a head on it, andwomen are crazy for it?Money!!!
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Computers Joke
Befuddled PC Users Flood Help Lines, and no Question Seems to be Too Basic From the Wall Street Journal, Tuesday, March '1
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Animal World
There was a gorilla sitting in a tree by a river, when a lioncame by for a cool drink. The gorilla thought to himself, 'Howfunny would it be to screw the king of the jungle in the ass?'After a moment or two, the gorilla swung into action. He grabbedthe lion and started pumping away. The lion freaked of course, and jumped into the river. The lion came out of the water, roaring, he was really upset. The gorilla decided that it was a good timeto be somewhere else, and took off running. The gorilla knew he hadto think of something quick because he wasn't going to outrun the lion. Just then the gorilla saw a hunter's tent and ducked inside to hide. The hunter, reading the paper, was startled and ran out of the tent. The gorilla decided to pretend to be the hunter, he put on the hunter'sshirt and hat, and started to read the paper. A few minutes later, the lion ran in and thinking it was the hunterreading the paper, said, 'Hey Buddy, did you see a gorilla run in here?'From behind the paper The gorilla answered, 'You mean the one thatscrewed the lion in the ass?'Flabergasted, the lion said, 'Holy Shit! It's in the paper already?'
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Funny Kids Joke
How do you hire an elephant?Stand it on four bricks!What is the easy way to get a wild elephant?Get a tame one and annoy it!What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?Here come the elephants!Why is an elephant braver than a hen?Because the elephant isn't chicken!What is worse than raining cats and dogs?Raining elephants!How are elephants and hippopotanuses alike?Neither can play basketball!How do you stop an angry elephant from charging?Take away it's credit cards!What did the baby elephant get when the daddy elephant sneezed?Out of the way!How do you raise a baby elephant?With a fork lift truck!What's the best way to see a charging herd of elephants?On television!
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Weather Joke
In the summer desert heat, what did a dust devil say to the over-talkative dust devil? -You are really blowing a lot of hot air
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Knock Knock Joke - 3
Knock Knock Who's there ! Chile ! Chile who? Chile out tonight !
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Medicine Joke
A man went to the doctor for a check up. 'How do you feel?' asked the doctor. 'Fine. ' he replied. After a few more general health questions the doctor asked, 'How many times do you have sex per month?' 'About two orthree. ' the man replied. 'You should be doing better than that. ' the doctor offered. 'Take these pills and come back in a month. ' The man did and a month later he was again asked by the doctor, 'How many times did you have sex last month?' 'About two or three times. ' the man answered again. 'I can't understand it, ' the doctor continued, 'you should be doing much better than that. ' 'I don't know, ' replied the man, 'that's not bad for having no car and a small parish. '
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Top 100 Joke
A four year old was at the pediatrician for a check up. As the doctor looked down her ears with an otoscope, he asked, 'Do you think I'll find Big Bird in here?'The little girl stayed silent. Next, the doctor took a tongue depressor and looked down her throat. He asked, 'Do you think I'll find the Cookie Monster down there?'Again, the little girl was silent. Then the doctor put a stethoscope to her chest. As he listened to her heart beat, he asked, 'Do you think I'll hear Barney in there?''Oh, no!' the little girl replied. 'Jesus is in my heart. Barney's on my underpants. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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