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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy brewhouse and other funny jokes |
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Humor Joke
A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed that the man was slowing sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared. After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, 'Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table. 'The woman calmly looked up at her and replied, 'No he didn't. He just walked in the door. '
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Computing Joke
Shift to the left, shift to the right!Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte!
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Sport Joke
How was your golf game, dear? asked Jack's wife Tracy. 'Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad, I couldn't see where the ball went. ' 'You're seventy-five years old, Jack!' admonished his wife. 'Why don't you take my brother Scott along?' 'But he's eighty-five and doesn't even play golf anymore, ' protested Jack. 'Yes, but he's got perfect eyesight and can watch your ball for you, ' Tracy pointed out. The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. 'Did you see where it went?' asked Jack. 'Yup, ' Scott answered. 'Well, where is it?' yelled Jack, peering off into the distance. 'I forgot. '
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Farming Joke
A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing. The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, 'Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?'The farmer replies, 'I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize. ''How?' asks the man, puzzled. 'Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize . . . to people who are out standing in their field. '
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School Joke
Our teacher has a bad memory. For three days she asked us how much is two and two. We told her it was four. But she still doesn't know. Today she asked us again!
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Short Stupid Joke
So a dude turns to the guy next to him at a bar and asks, 'Hey, you wanna hear a redneck story?'The guy says, 'Buddy, I'm six feet, 210 pounds, an' ma name's Billy Joe. You see the guy on the other side of you? That there's Bubba. He's 225 pounds of solid muscle and he's a redneck. And the boy next to him? Mike's a trucker who weighs 295 and he's a redneck, too. Now, do you still want to tell your redneck story?'The fella says, 'Naw, you're right. . . I'd hate to have to explain it three times!'
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Computing Joke
If Microsoft Ran The IRS 'Government should be run like a business. ' We've all heard that chestnut. Here is how the Internal Revenue Service (nobody's favorite government agency) would be like, if only it were run like Microsoft Corp. (a successful private enterprise). -- The IRS, as always, announces new tax forms will be mailed the week before the new year. However it will follow Microsoft's example and actually ship them the following May. -- Responding to pressure from some large corporations and a users' group, some early copies of the tax forms will actually be released in March. The recipients must sign non-disclosure agreements. -- In June, the forms will be recalled because the IRS loses a suit for appropriating some other country's intellectual property. -- When you move, the IRS will continue to send mail to your previous address forevermore, just like Microsoft sends its product upgrade notices. -- When you upgrade from form 1040 EZ to 1040 A, and then to '1040
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Bumper Stickers - 6
Talk only if you can improve on the silence.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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