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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of comedy aprons and other funny jokes |
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Business Joke
Q: What does Santa call his wife at tax time?
A: A dependent Claus.
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Computer Joke
If you messed up your life, you could press 'Ctrl, Alt, Delete' and start all over!To get your daily exercise, just click on 'run'! If you needed a break from life, click on suspend. Hit 'any key' to continue life when ready. To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster. To add/remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel. To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings. If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers. When you loose your car keys, click on find. 'Help' with the chores is just a click away. Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary. You would use your diskette to recover from a crash. And, we could click on 'SEND NOW' and a Pizza would be on it's way to you.
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Blonde Joke - 3
Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning? A: It swells at night.
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Men Joke
Men are like government bonds. They take so long to mature.
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Doctor Joke
Doctor: Did you know that there are more than '1
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Marriage Joke
Joe said, 'Know what, Charlie? I killed 5 flies yesterday, 3 males and 2 females. '
'How could you tell them apart, Joe?' asked Charlie.
Joe replied, 'That was easy. The 3 males were sitting on a case of beer and the 2 females were on the phone. '
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Knock Knock Joke - 3
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Tamara.
Tamara who?
Tamara will be a better day than today!
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Joke for Speeches
A young couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where they were spending the first night of their honeymoon. They opened the champagne and began undressing. When the bridegroom removed his socks, his new wife asked, 'Ewww - what's wrong with your feet? Your toes look all mangled and weird. Why are your feet so gross?' 'I had tolio as a child, ' he answered. 'You mean polio?' she asked. 'No, tolio. The disease only affected my toes. ' The bride was satisfied with this explanation, and they continued undressing. When the groom took off his pants, his bride once again wrinkled up her nose. 'What's wrong with your knees?' She asked. 'They're all lumpy and deformed!' 'As a child, I also had kneasles, ' he explained. 'You mean measles?' she asked. 'No, kneasles. It was a strange illness that only affected my knees. ' The new bride had to be satisfied with this answer. As the undressing continued, her husband at last removed his underwear. 'Don't tell me, ' she said. 'Let me guess. . Smallcox?'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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