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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of cocky comedy and other funny jokes |
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Pig Joke
What should you say to a pig on roller skates? Don't say anything. Just get out of the way.
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Military Joke
Top Holiday Traditions In The Military9. Gluing Santa beard to your gas mask8. Roasting chestnuts with an M4-A3 flamethrower7. Draw up list of who's naughty, who's nice and who can't run their 2 miles without wheezing like an infant6. Christmas morning, getting to sleep in till 05305. You open a gift and surprise! It's a khaki-colored t-shirt4. Extra R&R for any personnel named Donner or Blitzen3. There's always plenty of parking at the mall when you're driving a tank2. Watching 'Frosty' and crying my eyes out1. Freeze-dried, shelf-stable, vacuum-sealed eggnog
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Joke for Kids
A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his mother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives is a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and sends her the top half. Later he receives another letter asking him to send a picture to his grandmother. The man cuts another picture in half, but accidentally sends the bottom half of the photo. He is really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong half, but them remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is, and hopes she won't notice. A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says . . . 'Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style, it makes your nose look too short!'
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Dumb Blonde Joke
Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?
A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.
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E-mail Joke
Why didn't the internit get any e-mail? Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.
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Stupid Blonde Joke
An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work onscaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, 'Corned beef and cabbage! IfI get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jumpoff this building. 'The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, Burritos again! If I getburritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too. 'The blond opened his lunch and said, Bologna again! If I get a bolognasandwich one more time, I'm jumping too. 'The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef andcabbage, and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw aburrito, and jumped, too. The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bolognaand jumped to his death as well. At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, 'If I'd knownhow really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would havegiven it to him again!' The Mexican's wife also wept and said, 'I couldhave given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos somuch. 'Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said, 'Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch. '
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Kids Puns
Boss asks secretary 'Do you know what the difference is between a Caesar Salad and a blowjob?''No', says the secretary. 'Great, Let's do lunch. ' the boss says.
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Free Adult Joke
Never trust a dog to watch your food. When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' don't answer. Never tell your mom her diet's not working. Stay away from prunes. Never pee on an electric fence. Don't squat with your spurs on. Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to. When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair. Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment. Don't sneeze in front of mum when you're eating crackers. Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a Tic-Tac. Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse. Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick. Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat. When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone. Never try to baptize a cat.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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