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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of clean work jokes and other funny jokes |
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Political Joke
Democrats do much of their shopping at Target and Wal-Mart. So do Republicans, but they don't admit it.
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Clinton Joke
Q: What's the best place to photograph Clinton Administration officials? A: A police lineup.
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Dog Joke - 1
How do you find your dog if he's lost in the woods ? Put your ear up to a tree and listen for the bark !
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Internet Joke
What do you get if you type www. abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz. com into your computer? A sore finger.
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Funny College Joke
The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. Robert Frost The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse Dennis Miller Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? Edgar Bergen Doing nothing is very hard to do. . . you never know when you're finished. Leslie Nielsen The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job. Slappy White I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'. Robert Paul It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. Muhammad Ali A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job still requires you to wear a name tag, you've made a serious vocational error. Dennis Miller I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. Jerome K Jerome
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Funniest Joke
Q: What is the diffrence between a smart blonde and bigfoot? A: Bigfoot has been seen.
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Weirdest Joke
Hi y'all. . . muh name id's Bubba and dis is muh fameily:Furst is me. . . Mom said I got all the good looks and no brains. I love being a babe hound. Girls make spit roll down my chin. I have a stomach problem and fart alot. My Mom has lots of boyfriends. One of them has a job. She says with a little luck I could be a garbage man one day. My brother Hank is in jail right now. When he gets out he is not allowed to be around animals and kitchen appliances. My grandmom lives with us in our trailer. Shes smells real bad. She likes to hang out in bars and drink beer. Grandma has sores all over and they leak yellow stuff on the furniture. The flies are terrible. My mom says she is almost positive this is who my Dad is. He lives in a Federal Penitentiary in Montana. When he gets out in 55 years we are gonna go fishing. The blood stains inside my Dads truck are almost all gone!My younger sister Jill lost all her teeth. She was licking a egg beater after mom made a cake and my cousin Jimmy turned it on by accident. We are proud of my older brother Barney. He is only 27 and all ready in the 4th grade. He wants to be a Doctor and can write his own name!Then there's my half brother Jim Bob and his wife. She is a hottie. They raise Possum in their back yard. They are not allowed to have children. My older sister Sue Ellen has 15 kids and they all look different. We depend on her welfare check to get by. She has a disease that makes her itch. Jethro is my 1st cousin. He runs a tomato stand down by the highway. He once went 53 days without taking a bath. Buck is my second cousin. He is pretty smart. Buck is going to be a dentist some day. He does all the work on our teeth. My sisters boyfriend for now is Larry. He fixes lawn mowers in the city. My sister says he has a hairy butt. Michael used to be my best friend but got killed by a bus on the interstate. I still wear his underwear. Jake is my new friend. He holds the park record. He once jumped over 7 trailers. Jake crashed alot and talks real slow now. His doctor told him to wear a helmit. My uncle Marky is still having problems. He doesn't know what he wants in life anymore. He is a Veitnam War hero and now sells perfume at a department store. My step brother Phil had a hunting accident years ago. The bullet is lodged just over his right ear. It's hard to understand him sometimes and he always stinks like rotten cheese. That's the END OF MUH FAMEILY!
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Naughty Joke
97 year old man comes to his doctor looking depressed. He says 'Doc, I think I'm impotent. ' Doctor sits himdown and begins the standard speech he gives to seniorcitizens, about how as the body ages bodily functionsslow down and it is completely normal to suffer somedecrease in sexual desire. How the man shouldn't worryor become upset about it, but should just relax andthings will probably be completely fine andblah blah blah. Finally the doctor asks 'Whendid you first begin to think you were impotent?''Three times last night, and again this morning. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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