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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of clean wedding jokes and other funny jokes |
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Cow Joke
What has four legs and goes, 'Oom! Oom!'? A cow walking backwards!
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Just for Laughs Joke
While doing a vasectomy, the doctor slipped and cut off one of the man's balls. To avoid a huge malpractice suit, he decides to replace the missing ball with an onion. Several weeks later, the patient returned for a checkup. 'How's your sex life?' the doctor asked. 'Pretty good, ' the man said, to the doctor's relief. But then he added, 'I've had some strange side effects. ''What's that?' the doctor asked anxiously. 'Well, every time I piss, my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job, she gets heartburn. And every time I pass a hamburger stand, I get a hard-on!'
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Love and Marriage Joke
Three bachelors were kidding Lou, the married man among them. 'You've been hitched five years now, Lou, how come you have no children?' asked one of them. Then trying to make a bad pun he added, 'Is your wife UNBEARABLE?'
'Or,' said another guy, 'Is she INCONCEIVABLE?'
'Maybe she's IMPREGNABLE,' joked the third man.
'No, boys you're all wrong,' lamented Lou. 'My wife is INSURMOUNTABLE and INSCRUTABLE!'
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Easter Joke
Boy 1: 'How did you get that bruise on your arm?' Boy 2: 'I ate some Easter candy. ' Boy 1: 'Eating Easter candy won't give you a bruise. ' Boy 2: 'It will if it's your big brother's candy!'
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Money Joke
Which is better, an old ten dollar bill or a new one? An old ten dollar bill is better than a new one.
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Mother Joke
With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65 year old woman has a baby. All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family. When they ask to see the baby, the 65 year old mother says 'not yet. '
A little later they ask to see the baby again. Again the mother says 'not yet. '
Finally they say, 'When can we see the baby?'
And the mother says, 'When the baby cries. '
And they ask, 'Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?'
The new mother says, 'because I forgot where I put it. '
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Bumper Stickers - 4
I WANT YOU to stay far away from me
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Fishing Joke
Where do fish wash ? In a river basin !
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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