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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of clean jokes for kids and other funny jokes |
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Kids Joke
Little Gregory wakes up in the middle of the night feeling alone and scared. He goes into his mother's room for comfort and he sees his mom standing naked in front of the mirror. She is rubbing her chest and groaning, 'I want a man, I want a man. ' Shaking his head in bewilderment, Gregory takes off to bed. Next night the same thing happens. On the third night, Gregory wakes up and goes into his mom's room but this time there is a man in bed with his mom. Gregory hoofs back to his room and whips off his pajamas, rubs his chest and groans ' I want a bike, I want a bike. '
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Bumper Stickers - 2
According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
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Cop Joke
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they laid down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. 'Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see. 'Watson replied, 'I see millions and millions of stars. ''What does that tell you?'Watson pondered for a minute. 'Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?'Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. 'It tells me that someone has stolen our tent. '
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Horse Joke
What does it mean if you find a horse shoe? Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.
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Bible Joke
A little Catholic kid was praying as hard as he could. 'God, ' he prayed, 'I really want a car. ' Jumping up and dashing to the window, he saw that the driveway was empty. 'God, ' he prayed again, 'I really NEED a car. ' Still no answer to his prayers. Suddenly the kid stood up, ran into his parents' bedroom, and grabbed the statuette of the Virgin Mary off the mantelpiece. He wrapped it up in ten layers of paper, using three rolls of tape and a spool of twine, then stuffed it inside a box at the very bottom of his closet. 'Okay, God, ' he said, getting down onto his knees again, 'if you ever want to see your mother again. . . '
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Top 100 Joke
The following are actual incidents reported. . . #1A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then, he discovered the problem - a 10-year old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign which read 'RADAR TRAP AHEAD'. The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign reading 'TIPS' and a bucket full of change. #2A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs. #3A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As the motorcycle officer walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, 'I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the Highway Patrolmen's Ball. 'He replied, 'Highway patrolmen don't have balls. 'There was a moment of silence while she smiled, and he realized what he'd just said. He then closed his book, got back on his motorcycle and left. She was laughing too hard to start her car for several minutes.
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Dirty Joke
Why do hunters make the best lovers? Because they go deep in the bush, shoot more than once and they eat what they shoot.
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Elephant Joke
How do you raise a baby elephant ? With a fork lift truck !
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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