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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of clean anniversary jokes and other funny jokes |
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Father Joke
he following are excuse notes from parents (including original spellings) collected by the University of Texas: They were collected from Arkansas, Kentucky, Tennessee, West Virginia and Mississippi.
My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P. E
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Bird Joke
What geometric figure is like a runaway parrot? A polygon .
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Simple Joke
Heart Attacks. . . God's Revenge for Eating His Animal FriendsHow many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost?I'm an imbecile and I voteMoney Isn't Everything. . . But it Sure Keeps the Kids In TouchIf you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!'100
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College Humor
Why do birds fly south for the winter?Because it's too far to walk!
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Fishing Joke
Have you seen the new fishing website? No, it's not online yet.
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Love and Marriage Joke
Someone once took a large black ink marker and wrote 'Help' on the bottom of the groom's left shoe and 'Me' on the bottom of the right shoe. So when he knelt down for his vows, the entire congregation saw it. Of course, this will only work if he must kneel with back to congregation (i. e. Catholic wedding). Make sure you get it so that it is readable with the shoes side by side, left to right, toes toward the floor. Do this far enough in advance so that the paint is dry before the groom wears the shoes to avoid damaging carpets. Besides 'Help Me', other possible message to write on the soles are (with varying degrees of cruelness): Left Shoe (I'm With) Right Shoe (Stupid [pointing arrowhead]
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Science Joke
How can you tell if your college roomate is gay?-His dick tastes like shit.
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Computing Joke
10. Lower corner of screen has the words 'Etch-a-sketch' on it. 9. It's celebrity spokesman is that 'Hey Vern!' guy. 8. In order to start it, you need some jumper cables and a friend's car. 7. It's slogan is 'Pentium: redefining mathematics'. 6. The 'quick reference' manual is 120 pages long. 5. Whenever you turn it on, all the dogs in your neighborhood start howling. 4. The screen often displays the message, 'Ain't it break time yet?'3. The manual contains only one sentence: 'Good Luck!'2. The only chip inside is a Dorito. 1. You've decided that your computer is an excellent addition to your fabulous paperweight collection.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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