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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of classic comedy dvd and other funny jokes |
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Funny Kids Joke
Why did the bull rush?Because it saw the cow slip!What kind of bird lays electric eggs?A battery hen!What do you call an arctic cow?An eskimoo!What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?A brick-layer!How do you fit more pigs on your farm?Build a sty-scraper!Why does a rooster watch TV?For hentertainment!What do you get from a drunk chicken?Scotch eggs!What do you call a crate of ducks?A box of quackers!What do you get if you cross a chicken with a bell?A bird that has to wring its own neck!
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Military Joke
What do you think about the coming battle, General? - God knows it will be lost. - Then Why should we go for it? - to find out who is the loser.
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Romance Joke
A child at a Christian school was studying the early days of Mormonism in his class. He wrote on his paper, 'The early Mormons believed in having more than one wife. This is called polygamy. But we believe in having only one wife. This is called monotony'
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Silliest Joke
A traveler knocked on the door of the house where a cabdriver had told him he could be sexually accommodated. An eye-level panel slid open and a female voice asked what he wanted. 'I want to get screwed, ' said the man. 'OK, mister, but this is a private club, so slip twenty bucks as an initiation fee through the mail slot, ' answered the voice. The man slid his $20 bucks in, the panel was closed. Minutes passed and nothing happened. He began to pound on the door insistently, and the panel slid open again. 'Hey, ' exclaimed the sport, 'I want to get screwed!''What?' said the voice, 'Again?'
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Miscellaneous Joke
When someone asks you, 'A penny for your thoughts', and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
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Festival Joke
15. I will not eat other animals' poop. 14. I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop. 13. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table. 12. My head does not belong in the refrigerator. 11. I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener. 10. Cats: Circulate a petition that sleeping become a juried competition in major animal shows. 9. Come to understand that cats are from Venus; dogs are from Mars. 8. Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds. 7. Hamster: Don't let them figure out I'm just a rat on steroids, or they'll flush me! 6. Get a bite in on that freak who gives me that shot every year. 5. Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much. 4. Cats: Use new living room sofa as scratching post. 3. January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock!January 2nd - December 31: Re-live victory over the sock. 2. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff. AND the Number 1 New Year's Resolutions Made by Pets. . . 1. I will NOT chase the stick until I see it LEAVE THE IDIOT'S HAND
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Easy to Remember Joke
Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.
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Comedy Joke
A blonde wanted to win the lotto so she prayed to god, and she lost. Next week she prayed to god again, and she lost. The week after she prayed to god, and she lost. She said to god, why wont you let me win? God replied, How about buying a ticket first?
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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