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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of christmas text jokes and other funny jokes |
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Answer me this Joke
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes - why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
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Religious Joke
Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? A. Samson. He brought the house down.
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Joke of the Day
What's the best thing about having Alzheimer's Disease?1: You can hide your own Easter eggs. 2: You are always meeting new people. 3: You never have to watch reruns on television.
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Knock Knock Joke - 3
Knock Knock Who's there ! C-2 ! C-2 who ? C-2 it that you don't forget my name next time !
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Kids Puns
The following information was gained through much arduous research involving men and women from all backgrounds and walks of life. It consists of the most frequently asked questions of women (i. e. relationships, sex and life in general). All women who read this are encouraged to use the wisdom contained therein to change their behavior in accordance with the truths established below. Q: How do I know if I'm ready for sex? A: Ask your boyfriend. He'll know when the time is right. When it comes to love and sex, men are much more responsible, since they're not as emotionally confused as women. It's a proven fact. Q: Should I have sex on the first date? A: YES. Before if possible. Q: What exactly happens during the act of sex? A: Again, this is entirely up to the man. The important thing to remember is that you must do whatever he tells you without question. Sometimes, however, he may ask you to do certain things that may at first seem strange to you. Do them anyway. Q: How long should the sex act last? A: This is a natural & normal part of nature, so don't feel ashamed or embarrassed. After you've finished making love, he'll have a natural desire to leave you suddenly, & go out with his friends to play golf. Or perhaps another activity, such as going out with his friends to the bar for the purpose of consuming large amounts of alcohol & sharing a few personal thoughts with his buddies. Don't feel left out - while he's gone you can busy yourself by doing laundry, cleaning the apartment, or perhaps even going out to buy him an expensive gift. He'll come back when he's ready. Q: What is 'after play'? A: After a man has finished making love, he needs to replenish his manly energy. 'After play' is simply a list of important activities for you to do after lovemaking. This includes lighting his cigarette, making him a sandwich or pizza, bringing him a few beers, or leaving him alone to sleep while you go out and buy him an expensive gift. Q: Does the size of the penis matter? A: Yes. Although many women believe that quality, not quantity, is important, studies show this is simply not true. The average erect male penis measures about three inches. Anything longer than that is extremely rare and if by some chance your lover's sexual organ is 4 inches or over, you should go down on your knees and thank your lucky stars and do everything possible to please him, such as doing his laundry, cleaning his apartment and/or buying him an expensive gift. Q: What about the female orgasm? A: What about it? There's no such thing. It's a myth!
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Funny Kids Joke
Why was the glow worm unhappy?Because her children weren't that bright!
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Irish Joke
Higgins lived in Staten Island, New York, and worked in Manhattan. He had to take the ferryboat home every night. One evening, he got down to the ferry and found there was a wait for the next boat, So Higgins decided to stop at a nearby tavern. Before long he was feeling no pain. When he got back to the ferry slip, the ferryboat was just eight feet from the dock. Higgins, afraid of missing this one and being late for dinner, took a running leap and landed right on the deck of the boat. 'How did you like that jump, buddy?' said a proud Higgins to a deck hand. 'It was great, ' said the sailor. 'But why didn't you wait? We were just pulling in!'
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Doctor Joke
octor, doctor, my wooden leg is giving me a lot of pain. Why's that? My wife keeps hitting me over the head with it.
Doctor, doctor, my hair's coming out. Can you give me something to keep it in? Certainly - how about a paper bag?
Doctor, doctor, people keep ignoring me. Next, please!
Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains. Pull yourself together!
Doctor, doctor, I feel like a bridge. What's come over you? Two cars and a bus!
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a spoon. Sit there and don't stir.
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a billiard ball. Get back in the queue.
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a pack of cards. I'll deal with you later.
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking there's two of me. One at a time, please.
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dog. Lie down on the couch and I'll examine you. I can't. I'm not allowed on the furniture.
Doctor, doctor, I've lost my memory. When did it happen? When did what happen?
Doctor, doctor, my little boy's swallowed a bullet. What shall I do? Well, for a start, don't point him at me.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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