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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
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pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of christmas bon bon jokes and other funny jokes |
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Mother Joke
A few days ago my daughter, who is expecting her third child, was telling the other two children that this baby is kicking alot. She further explained that when she had the first one, Mikey, he didn't kick too much. Mikey gently said to his mother 'Mom, do you know why I didn't kick you too much? Because I knew you were my Mommy'.
Out of the mouths of our sweet babes.
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Funny Famous Joke
Good question. . . Do dogs have fleas, or do fleas have dogs?hmmmm.
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School Joke for Kids
A Missionary went to what he thought was an totally uninhabited island. He discovered that there were indeed people there, but the inhabitants of the island knew nothing of civilized culture. The missionary decided that it would be in the natives best interest if he could teach them about civilization. He created small schools in huts and taught the natives how to read and write and do mathmetics. He would take the natives one by one around the island, and teach them the correct words for objects that they would see. One day, the Missionary is walking around the island with one of the natives. They walk past a tree. The Missionary points and says to the native, 'Tree'. The native repeats, 'Tree'. They continue further and come to a bush. The Missionary points to it and says, 'Bush'. The native repeats the word, 'Bush'. They walk around the bush - and lying on the ground behind it, is a native couple whoopi. The Missionary hopes that the native won't ask about it, but he does. The native asks - 'What is that? What are they doing?'And the Missionary, looking for a quick answer replies, 'Riding a bicycle. Those two people are riding a bicycle!' Instantly, the native pulls out his poison dart gun and kills the couple in the midst of their sexual act. The Missionary is incredulous. Angered, he asks, 'Here I am trying to teach you to be civilized and you kill two people! WHY did you kill those two people?! I told you that they were riding a bicycle!'The native answers, 'Him riding MY bicycle!'
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Bar Joke - 1
A neutron walks into a bar. 'I'd like a beer' he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. 'How much will that be?' asks the neutron. 'For you?' replies the bartender, 'no charge'
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Music Joke
Q: What's the definition of a nerd? A: Someone who has his or her own alto clarinet.
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Insect Joke
Why was the centipede dropped from the insect football team ? He took too long to put his boots on !
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Barbie doll Joke
There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Fast Food Barbie . . . also known as McBarbie. . . you want fries with that?
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Joke for Halloween
A distraught man went to a psychiatrist and exclaimed, 'Doctor, I believe that I am possessed by an evil spirit. ' After talking to the patient at some length, the psychiatrist said, 'You do appear to have a problem. I'd like to see you again next Wednesday. 'After a second session of psychotherapy, the psychiatrist pronounced his patient completely cured. For the next nine months, the psychiatrist sent the man a monthly statement for his professional services, but the man wouldn't pay and refused to acknowledge the debt. Finally, the psychiatrist took the man to court and had him repossessed.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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