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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of christian knock knock jokes and other funny jokes |
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Easter Joke
What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams? They lived hoppily ever after!
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Funniest Joke
Birdie, birdie in the sky Dropped some white stuff in my eye, I'm a big girl I won't cry, I'm just glad that cows don't fly.
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Firefighter Joke
The Fire brigade phones George Graham in the early hours of Sunday morning. 'Mr Graham sir, White Hart Lane is on fire!' 'The cups man! Save the cups!' cries George. 'Uh, the fire hasn't spread to the canteen yet, sir. '
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Cowboy Joke
Who do zombie cowboys fight? Deadskins.
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At Work Joke
A well respected Doctor and his wife were having drinks in the lobby of the theater during the opening nite of a musical duringintermission. A blonde shimmied by that had to have had what there was of her evening gown spray painted on her curvy body. She smiled and gushed, 'Well, hello there Doc. ' and kept right on going. After a moment's pause, the good doctor looked at his wife and said, 'Don't worry dear, that's just a young lady I knowprofessionally. 'Without missing a beat, his wife asked, 'Hers or Yours ?'
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Kids Puns
Jack and Betty are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. 'Betty, I was wondering -- have you ever cheated on me?' 'Oh Jack, why would you ask such a question now? You don't want to ask that question. . . ' 'Yes, Betty, I really want to know. Please. ' 'Well, all right. Yes, 3 times. ' 'Three? When were they?' 'Well, Jack, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan? Remember how one day the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?' 'Oh, Betty, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, that you would do such a thing for me! So, when was number 2?' 'Well, Jack, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you? Remember how Dr. DeBakey came all the way up here, to do the surgery himself, and then you were in good shape again?' 'I can't believe it! Betty, I love that you should do such a thing for me, to save my life! I couldn't have a more wonderful wife. To do such a thing, you must really love me darling. I couldn't be more moved. When was number 3?' 'Well, Jack, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 17 votes short?'
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Kids Fairy Tale Joke
Did you hear about the two-headed ogre who got so angry that he was beside himself?
How does an ogre count to nineteen?
On his fingers!
Optician: 'Have your eyes ever been checked?'
Ogre: 'No, they've always been red!'
What did the dragon swallow that made him breathe fire?
A fire-engine!
What did the ogre get for his birthday?
Another year older!
What do you give an ogre with great big feet?
Lots of space.
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Bar Joke - 2
Three Muslims died and went to Heaven. When they approached the gate, St. Peter said 'Sorry, only Christians are allowed in Heaven. 'The Muslims said 'But we are good Christians!'St. Peter replied 'Okay, if you're good Christians then tell me what is Easter?'The first Muslim went up to St. Peter and said 'I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man dressed up in a white bunny suit and hopped around delivering eggs to children!'St. Peter shook his head, and said 'Next!'The second Muslim guy then came up and said 'I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man dressed up in a red and white suit and flied around delivering presents to good children!'St. Peter sighed, and said 'Next!'So the last Muslim guy comes up to old St. Peter and says 'Oh, I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man died on the cross for the people, and they buried him in a cave. After three days the Jesus man got up, went out of the cave, saw his shadow, and there was 6 more weeks of winter!'
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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