|
|
|
The
Best Humor Sites on the Internet |
|
Christmas Jokes
Funny Jokes Online
MOCKERY
Ghost Pictures
Ghost Stories
Hilarious Horoscopes
Bizarre Webcam
notMENSA
society for the stupid
Cheap posters
Raunchiest Riddles
Worst Jobs in the World
Love Poems
Inspirational Poems
Funny Poems
Famous Poems
Free Diet Plans
Top Paying
Keywords
Keyword Suggestions
Everything you want to know about everything!
Weird eBay
mesothelioma types
Top 100 Baby Names
flowers online
Poker Articles
Free View Webcams
Work from Home
World History
Baby Name Chooser
Text Links
Online Advertising
Flowers
Top searches
Weird Website
Children's Books
Scottish Jokes
Robert Burns Poems
Midge Jokes
Fathers Jokes
Funny Jokes
Love Quotes
Famous Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
Funny Quotes
Movie Quotes
Friendship Quotes
Get Found
anime girls
5QS |
|
|
No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
| |
|
|
Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
|
|
|
Archive of christian jokes for kids and other funny jokes |
|
Children Joke
Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow ? Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass !
= = = = = = = = = =
Random Joke
This old man visits his doctor and after a thorough examination, the doctor tells him, 'I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?'Patient: Well, give me the bad news first. Doctor: You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left. Patient: OH NO! That's awful! In two years, my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this???Doctor: You also have Alzheimer's. . . In three months you'll forget everything I told you.
= = = = = = = = = =
Computer Joke
As most technophiles are aware, there are special programs to run scanners. These programs use a TWAIN driver to perform the scanning. TWAIN, the acronym, stands for 'Technology Without An Interesting Name. '
= = = = = = = = = =
Sad Joke
YOU MIGHT BE AN ENGINEER IF. . . The only jokes you receive are through e-mail(nothing wrong with this one). At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string. Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma. Everyone else on the Alaskan cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room. In college you thought Spring Break was a metal fatigue failure. The salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions. You are always late to meetings. You are at an air show and know how fast the skydivers are falling. You are next in line on death row in a French prison and you find that the guillotine is not working properly so you offer to fix it. You bought your wife a new CD ROM for her birthday. You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie. You can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting. You can't write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines. You comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel. You forgot to get a haircut . . . for 6 months. You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards in the chairs to see how they do the special effects. You have 'Dilbert' comics displayed anywhere in your work area. You have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance. You have more friends on the Internet than in real life. You have never backed up your hard drive. You have never bought any new underwear or socks for yourself since you got married. You have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts. You know what http:// stands for. You look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys. You own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts. You see a good design and still have to change it. You spent more on your calculator than on your wedding ring. You still own a slide rule and you know how to work it. You think a pocket protector is a fashion accessory. You think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep. You wear black socks with white tennis shoes (or vice versa). You window shop at Radio Shack. You're in the back seat of your car, she's looking wistfully at the moon, and you're trying to locate a geosynchronous satellite. Your checkbook always balances. Your laptop computer costs more than your car. Your wife hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work. Your wrist watch has more computing power than a 300Mhz Pentium. You've already calculated how much you make per second. You've ever tried to repair a $5 radio.
= = = = = = = = = =
Various animal Joke
One day Mullah was beating his donkey in a remote place. A man saw him and asked: why are you beating the poor animal. Sorry, said Mullah, is it a member of your family?
= = = = = = = = = =
War Joke
A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He wentthough the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higherand higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from anairplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him thenews. 'So, did you jump?' the father asked. 'Well, let me tell you whathappened. We got up in the plane, and the sergeant opened up the doorand asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked outof the plane!' Is that when you jumped?' asked the father. 'Um, not yet. Then the sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throwthem out the door. ' 'Did you jump then?' asked the father. 'I'm getting to that. Every one else had jumped, and I was the last manleft on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. Hetold be to get off the plane or he'd kick my butt. ' 'So, did you jump?''Not then. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I grabbed onto the door and refused to go. Finally he called over the Jump Master. TheJump Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 250 pounds. He said to me, `Boy, are you gonna jump or not? I said, `No, sir. Im too scared. So the Jump Master pulled down his zipper and tookhis penis out. I swear, it was about ten inches long and as big aroundas a baseball bat! He said, `Boy, either you jump out that door, orIm sticking this little baby up your ass. ' 'So, did you jump?'asked the father. 'Well, a little, at first.
= = = = = = = = = =
Instrument Joke
Arriving in HeavenThree men die and go to heaven and queue to meet St. Peter. St. Peter: Hi, what's your name?Paul: My name is Paul. St. Peter: Hi, Paul. Tell me, when you died, how much were you earning?Paul: 120K. St. Peter: Wow! Tell me, Paul, what were you doing to earn that kind of money?Paul: I was a lawyer. St. Peter: That's great. Come on in. St. Peter then turned to the second man. Hi, what's your name?Roger: My name is Roger. St. Peter: Hi, Roger. Tell me, when you died, how much were you earning?Roger: 60K. St. Peter: Hey, that's great! Tell me, Roger:, what did you do for a living?Roger: I was an accountant. St. Peter: That's very good. Come on in. St. Peter then turned to the second man. Hi, what's your name?John: My name is John. St. Peter: Hi, John. Tell me, John, how much were you earning when you died?John: About $'23
= = = = = = = = = =
Yo momma Joke
Yo Mama is so fat, she had to be baptized at Sea world. (Lionheartyz)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
|
| |
|
