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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of christian jokes and other funny jokes |
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School Joke for Kids
A farmer had three sons. One day his oldest came to him and said that since he was graduating from high school, he would really like to get a car. His father said, 'Son, come here. ' He took him to the barn and pointed to the tractor and said, 'This tractor is needed for the farm and I promise, as soon as it's paid for, we'll get you a car'. The boy was not too happy, but was understanding. A week later, his second son approached him wanting a motorcycle. 'Well', the father said, 'as soon as the tractor is paid for we'll see about getting you your scooter. 'Shortly after, his youngest was bugging him for a bike. Again, the father gave him the lecture about the tractor needing to be paid off first. While leaving the barn, the young boy, a little disgusted with his father's explanation, saw the farm rooster doing it's rooster duty with one of the hens. He promptly went over and kicked the rooster off the hen's back, mumbling to himself. His dad asked, 'Son, now why would you do something like that?He didn't do anything to deserve that. 'The third son replied, 'Hey, nobody around here rides anything until that tractor gets paid off!'
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Firefighter Joke
Q: Did you know that the three wise men were firemen? A: It says they came from afir (a fire, a far).
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Business Joke
A real estate salesman had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the
piece of land he had sold was completely under water.
“That customer's going to come back here pretty mad,” he said to his boss. “Should I give him his money back?”
“Money back?” roared the boss. “What kind of salesman are you? Get out there and sell him a houseboat. ”
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Space Joke
What do you call an overweight ET ? An extra cholesterol !
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Ethnic Joke - 1
Q: How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Twelve. Four to form a Parliamentary study committee to decide how to solve the problem, one Francophone to complain that I didn't translate this joke into French, one Native Canadian to protest that the interests of Native Canadians have been overlooked, one woman from the National Action Committee On the Status Of Women to say that women have been underrepresented in the process, one to go over the border to the Niagara Falls Factory Outlet Mall and buy a new bulb and not pay duty on it on the way back, one to actually screw it in, one to collect taxes on the whole procedure so the government can afford it, one to buy a case of Molson for everybody to drink, and one to drop the puck.
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Bible Joke
A Rabbi and a Priest were sitting together on a train, and the Rabbi leans over and asks, 'So how high can you advance in your organization?' The Priest says 'If I am lucky, I guess I could become a Bishop. ' 'Well, could you get any higher than that?' asks the Rabbi. 'I suppose that if my works are seen in a very good light that I might be made an ArchBishop' said the Priest a bit cautiously. 'Is there any way that you might go higher than that?' 'If all the Saints should smile, I guess I could be made a Cardinal' 'Could you be anything higher than a Cardinal?' probed the Rabbi. Hesitating a little bit, the Priest said 'I supose that I could be elected Pope, but. . . ' So the Rabbi says 'And could you be anything higher than that?, is there any way to go up from being the Pope?' 'What!!! I should be the Messiah himself!?!' The Rabbi leaned back and said 'One of ou r boys made it. '
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Joke for Speeches
A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office. He inquisitively ask the lady, 'Why is your stomach so big?'She replied, 'Im having a baby. 'With big eyes, he asked, 'Is the baby in your stomach?'She said, 'He sure is. 'Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, 'Is it a good baby?'She said, 'Oh, yes. It's a real good baby. 'With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked. . . 'Then why did you eat him?'
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Pig Joke
Doctor, doctor, I've got a little sty. Then you'd better buy a little pig.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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