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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of christian humour and other funny jokes |
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Worlds Best Joke
Is it all right to bring a date to the wedding? Not if you are the groom. How many showers is the bride supposed to have? At least one within a week of the wedding. What music is recommended for the wedding ceremony? Anything except 'Tied to the Whipping Post'.
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Naughty Joke
A nun is walking down a deserted road when a man grabs her and starts raping her. After the rapist is done, he says, 'Hey Sister, what are you going to tell the other Sisters now?''I'll tell them the truth, that you grabbed me, threw me to the ground, and raped me twice. . . . unless you're tired. ' she responded.
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Yo momma Joke
Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!
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Animal Joke
A bear is chasing a rabbit through a forest. They find a bottle and decide to rub it. A genie pops out. He says 'I will grant each of you three wishes. 'The bear says 'I wish all the bears in the forest were females. ' *poof* It's done. The rabbit says 'I wish for a motorcycle. ' *poof* It's done. The bear says 'I wish all the bears in this country were females. ' *poof* It's done. The rabbit says 'I wish for a lifetime supply of carrots back at my house. ' *poof* It's done. The bear is thinking to himself 'why is the rabbit wasting his wishes on stupid small things? oh well. ' 'And for my third wish, I wish that all the bears in the world were female. ' *poof* It's done. The rabbit says 'For MY last wish, I want the bear to be gay. ' And he rides off on his motorcycle.
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Fun Joke
A woman is learning how to golf. She has been teaching herself to play for more than three months and she is really bad. She decides to consult a golf pro. When she sees the golf pro, she explains how bad she is and he tells her to go ahead and hit the ball. She does. The ball goes about 50 yards into the brush slicing to the right. The golf pro says to the woman, 'I can see that you have a lot of problems. Your stance is bad, your head is all over the place, and the worst thing is that grip. 'When she asks what can be done to fix the situation, he suggests, 'Grab the club gently, as if you were grabbing your husband's 'club'. When the feeling is right, go ahead and swing. ' She does just that and the ball goes off the tee perfectly straight for about 275 yards. The golf pro says to the woman, 'That is unbelievable, I didn't think you would do that well. But now on to your next problem. . . How are we going to get that golf club out of your mouth?'
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Statistics and Math Joke
There was this statistics student who, when driving his car, would always accelerate hard before coming to any junction, whizz straight over it , then slow down again once he'd got over it. One day, he took a passenger, who was understandably unnerved by his driving style, and asked him why he went so fast over junctions. The statistics student replied, 'Well, statistically speaking, you are far more likely to have an accident at a junction, so I just make sure that I spend less time there. '
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Women Joke
A woman is a person who, if she says to a man, 'Never mind, I'll do it myself, ' and he lets her, and she gets mad, and he says, 'Now what are you mad about?' says, 'If you don't know I'm not going to tell you. '
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Technology Joke
Q: Why should we feel bad for the gay homeless population?A: None of them have closets to come out of.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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