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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of cheap funny gifts and other funny jokes |
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Kids Puns
Don't try to understand the theory of relativity. Relativity is like an erection - the more you think about it, the harder it gets.
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Hair and bald Joke
Doctor, doctor, can you give me something for my baldness? How about a few pounds of pig manure? Will that cure my baldness? No, but with that on your head no one will come near enough to notice you're bald.
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Love and Marriage Joke
The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. The doctor started a long and thorough examination, but finally found nothing wrong with the man. When the examination was complete, he said, 'Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me. ' 'Well, in plain English, ' the doctor replied, 'you're just lazy. ' 'Okay, ' said the man. 'Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife'.
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Dead and dying Joke
A chemist, a shopkeeper and a teacher were sentenced to death by firing squad. The chemist was taken from his cell and as the soldiers took aim he shouted 'Avalanche!' The soldiers panicked and in the confusion the chemist escaped. The shopkeeper was led out next. As the soldiers took aim he shouted 'Flood!' and escaped. The teacher was then lead out. The squad took aim and the teacher, remenbering how the other two had escaped, shouted 'Fire!'
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Weird Facts
The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night.
The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
The average secretary's left hand does 56% of the typing.
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds, that makes the catfish rank #1 for animal having the most taste buds.
The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
The longest one-syllable word in the English language is 'screeched. '
A polar bear's skin is black. Its fur is not white, but actually clear.
Butterflies taste with their feet. Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, dogs only have about ten.
Cat's urine glows under a black light.
China has more English speakers than the United States.
Did you know you share your birthday with at least 9 other million people in the world.
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Dumb Blonde Joke
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell. . . . she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.
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Weather Joke
There was a communist named Rudolph. One day he looked out the window and said, 'It looks like a storm is coming. ' 'No it isn't, ' said his wife. 'Besides, how would you know?' 'Because, ' he responded, 'Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear. '
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Bumper Stickers - 3
Don't let schooling get in the way of your education.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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