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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of cheap comedy tickets and other funny jokes |
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Hair and bald Joke
two mates at a pub having a beer when the bald one starts complaining about being bald. the other guy says to have a transplant operation. the bald guy says he cant afford it. so his mate says to go and have some rabbits tattooed on his head. The bald guy says how will that help? His mate says well from a distance they will look like hares. (hairs)
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Old Age Joke
A 97 year old man goes into his doctor's office.
'Doc, I want my sex drive lowered. '
'Sir', replied the doctor, 'You're 97. Don't you think you're 'sex drive' is all in your head?'
'You're damned right it is!' replied the old man. 'That's why I want it lowered!'
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Yo momma Joke
yo mama so stupid. . she sits on the t. v and watches the couch
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Bumper Stickers - 6
Save on gas, go fart in a jar.
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Short Joke
An old man went into confession and told the priest: 'Father, I'm 81 married with six children and 13 grandchildren. Last night i had an affair and made love to two 18-year-old girls. Twice. ' 'I see, ' said the priest. 'When was the last time you were in confession?' 'Never, Father', replied the old man. 'I'm Jewish' 'So why are you telling me?' 'I'm telling everybody!'
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Bible Joke
A drunk man who smelled like a beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was smeared with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began to read. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked 'Say Father, what causes arthritis?' The priest replies 'My son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much alcohol and comtempt for your fellow man' 'Well I'll be darned' the drunk muttered, returning to his newspaper. The priest thinking about what he said, nudged the drunk and apologised. 'I'm sorry to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?' 'I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does. '
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Joke for Speeches
A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets up from his seat. She thinks to herself, 'Here's another man trying to keep up the customs of a patriarchical society by offering a poor, defenseless woman his seat, ' and she pushes him back onto the seat. A few minutes later, the man tries to get up again. She is insulted again and refuses to let him up. Finally, the man says, 'Look, lady, you've got to let me get up. I'm two miles past my stop already!'
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Law Enforcement Joke
Polceman: 'I'm afraid that I'm going to have to lock you up for the night. 'Man: 'What's the charge?'Polceman: 'Oh, there's no charge. It's all part of the service
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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