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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of cambridge fun run and other funny jokes |
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Dumb Joke
A 70-year-old man has never been married. One day, he meets a beautiful 17-year-old girl, and it is love at first sight. They get married and go to Florida for their honeymoon. When they get back, his friend says to him, 'So, tell me, how was it?''Oh, it was beautiful, ' says the man. 'The sun, the surf, we made love almost every night, we -'His friend interrupts him. 'A man your age! How did you make love almost every night?''Oh, ' says the man, 'we almost made love Monday, we almost made love Tuesday. . . '
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Computing Joke
Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD)As the incidence and prevalence of Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD) has been increasing exponentially, a support group. The Internet Addiction Support Group (IASG) has been established. Below are the official criteria for the diagnosis of IAD and subscription information for the IASG. A maladaptive pattern of Internet use, leading to clinically significant impairment or distress as manifested by three (or more) of the following, occurring at any time in the same 12-month period: Diagnostic Criteria(I) tolerance, as defined by either of the following: (A) A need for markedly increased amounts of time on Internet to achieve satisfaction (B) markedly diminished effect with continued use of the same amount of time on Internet(II) withdrawal, as manifested by either of the following (A) the characteristic withdrawal syndrome (1) Cessation of (or reduction) in Internet use that has been heavy and prolonged. (2) Two (or more) of the following, developing within several days to a month after Criterion 1: (a) psychomotor agitation (b) anxiety (c) obsessive thinking about what is happening on Internet (d) fantasies or dreams about Internet (e) voluntary or involuntary typing movements of the fingers (3) The symptoms in Criterion B cause distress or impairment in social, occupational or other important other area of functioning (B) Use of Internet or a similar on-line service is engaged in to relieve or avoid withdrawal symptoms. (III) Internet is often accessed more often or for longer periods of time than was intended(IV) There is a persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control Internet use(V) A great deal of time is spent in activitied related to Internet use (e. g. , buying Internet books, trying out new WWW browsers, researching Internet vendors, organizing files of downloaded materials(VI) Important social, occupational, or recreational activities are given up or reduced because of Internet use. (VII) Internet use is continued despite knowledge of having a persistent or recurrent physical, social, occupational, or psychological problem that is likely to been caused or exacerbated by Internet use (sleep deprivation, marital difficulties, lateness for early morning appointments, neglect of occupational duties, or feelings of abandonment in significant others)
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Relationships Joke
A farmer and his wife were laying in bed one night, the farmer feeling a little frisky, reaches over and gives his wife's breast a little feel and says, 'Mother, if this could give milk, we could get rid of the cow. ' His hand then travels down to her crotch, and he says, 'Mother, if this could give eggs, we could get rid of the chickens. ' His wife then reaches over and grabs his penis. 'Father, if this could stay hard, we could get rid of your brother.
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Dirty Joke
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board? A: It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.
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Joke Online
I'm glad I'm a man, you better believe. I don't live off of yogurt, diet coke, or cottage cheese I don't bitch to my girlfriends about the size of my breastsI can get where I want to - north, south, east or westI don't get wasted after only 2 beersand when I do drink I don't end up in tears. I won't spend hours deciding what to wear, I spend 5 minutes max fixing my hairand I don't go around checking my reflectionin everything shiny from every direction. I don't whine in public and make us leave earlyand when you ask why get all bitter and surly. I'm glad I'm a man, I'm so glad I could singI don't have to sit around waiting for that ring. I don't gossip about friends or stab them in the backI don't carry our differences into the sack. I'll never go psycho and threaten to kill you or think every guy out there's trying to steal you. I'm rational, reasonable, and logical tooI know what the time is and I know what to do. And I honestly think its a privilege for me to have these two balls and stand when I peeI live to watch sports and play all sorts of ballIt's more fun than dealing with women after allI won't cry if you figure out it's not going to workI won't remain bitter and call you a jerk. Feel free to use me for immediate pleasureI won't assume it's permanent by any measure. Yes, I'm glad I'm a man, a man you seeI'm glad I'm not capable of child deliveryI don't get all bitchy every 28 daysI'm glad that my gender gets me a much bigger raiseI'm a man by chance and I'm thankful it's trueI'm so glad I'm a man and not a woman like you!
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Bumper Stickers - 7
What If There Were No Hypothetical Questions?
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Bumper Stickers - 4
If life deals you lemons, make lemonade; if it deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys. But if it deals you a truckload of hand grenades. . . now THAT'S a message!!
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Book title Joke
The Chocolate Bar by Ken I Havesum
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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