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injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of cambrian fun fighter and other funny jokes |
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Food Joke
What is the title of the new Vietnamamese cookbook ? 100 way to wok your dog.
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Instrument Joke
Q: What is the definition of a Soviet String Quartet?A: A Soviet Symphony Orchestra after a tour of the USA!Q: What do you do with percussionists that lose one of their drumsticks?A: Stick them up front of the group and tell them to wave their arms!Q: How many conductors does it take to change a light bulb?A: Seven. [Indignant nose upturning] Of course, I wouldn't expect you to understand. Q: Why are conductors' hearts popular for transplants?A: They've had little use.
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Sports Humor
What's better than winning a gold medal at the Para-Olympics?Having arms and legs.
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Bumper Stickers - 1
All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets
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Business Joke
There are three beggars begging on Wall Street. The first beggar wrote 'Beggar' on his broken cup. He received $10. 00 after one day. The next day, the second beggar wrote 'Beggar. com' on his cup. After one day, he received hundreds of thousands of dollars and an offer to float an IPO on NASDAQ. The following day, the third beggar wrote 'e-Beg' on his cup. Microsoft, IBM, and HP sent corporate vice-presidents to talk to him about strategic alliances and offered him free hardware consultancy. In addition, it was reported on CNBC that e-Beg uses 95% Oracle technology and that I2 announced the launch of BegTradeMatrix; a b2b industry portal offering supply chain integration in the beggar community.
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Spoof Joke
NEW LANGUAGES BEING TAUGHT IN AMERICAAfro-American Speak -- Ebonics (or We-Beonics)Irish-American Speak -- LeprechaunicsNative-American Speak -- KimosabicsItalo-American Speak -- Spumonics (or Rigatonics)Chinese-American Speak -- Won-tonicsJapanese-American Speak -- Mama-san-icsPolish-American Speak -- KielbasanicsJewish-American Speak -- ZionicsRussian-American Speak -- RasputonicsSpanish-American Speak -- Flan-icsScottish-American Speak -- Tartan-icsEskimo-American Speak -- HarpoonicsGerman-American Speak -- Autobaunics (or Teutonics)Candain-American Speak -- EH?onicsFlorida Democratic Voters Speak -- Moronics
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Sport Joke
Things to do at a Bowling Alley Everytime you throw exclaim 'TAKE THAT, YOU!!!' continue this behavior until forcefully thrown out. When ever a strike 'X' appears on the screen, start yelling about how this is a Black Panther conspiracy. Explain to the Owner how your game has been ruined due to Platetechtonics then loose him in lingo. Demand Compensation. Bring Zippo fluid, light the pins on fire. Wear Golf Shoes. Pray to the pins, leave sacrifices. Dress up like an amish man. Give speaches to others against the high technology used in bowling. Play bocci with extra lane balls Try to juggle the balls, when you drop them, start screaming about Platetechtonics again Every ten minutes run the entire length of the building beating your own head and speaking in tounges, then sit down as if nothing happened. Bring full angling gear, ask how they're biting. . . . . fish. Completely cover your ball in duct tape (sticky side out) then loudly complain about how your hook is off. Hide behind the pins. Stick your head up, LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY. Use a Curling Weight instead, bring a full team of sweepers. Throw refuse down the ball return, tell the owner the trash compactor is busted. Make your prescence known by arranging pentagrams out of candles on every lane except yours. Root for the other team- Bring Banners. Make fun of your team- Bring Lettuce. Tell the rival team captain that you just met his 'little girl' walk away mumbling 'how bad things happen' Bring a foghorn, use at crucial moments Even if you miss totally--At the top of your lungs scream STEEEEEEEEERIKE Bring a small gold idol, demand the other team pray to it. Rent all the lanes, don't bowl Rent all the shoes, eat them Blatenly Underscore yourself, then accuse the other team of cheating When an opponent is on his backswing, race up and take his ball, run home. If your team is in the finals, throw nothing but gutterballs, blame platetechtonics Trip EVERY member of the opposing team, trip your team, trip everyone Wear a baseball uniform, bowl sidearm. SuperGlue Police Whistles to the hand-dryers. . . leave town Walk around asking people why they are here, do this the whole night Ask to use the house mic. Say you want to make an anoucement, expond on the sins of bowling Name your ball something like 'KILLER', Openly boast to everyone how great you are, bowl terribly. Do this all night Sit in your lane and heckle others with a BullHorn. Bring a dartgun. . . Be inventive. Wrestle with your ball. (WWF Style) Ask someone to ref. Run around sprinkling 'MAGIC FAIRY DUST' on everyone's balls. Tar works nice. Sponsor a Really Big Open Bowl Night, Dont even have a Entrance fee. Advertise it using Every Mass Media known to man, make the 3rd Prize: $'10
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Ethnical Joke
A cop pulled up two Irish drunks, and asked to the first, 'What's your name and address?' 'I'm Paddy O'Day, of no fixed address. ' The cop turned to the second drunk, and asked the same question. 'I'm Seamus O'Toole, and I live in the flat above Paddy. '
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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