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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of call centre humour and other funny jokes |
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Horse Joke
A stallion and a mare where due to get married, but the stallion didn't show up at the church. He got colt feet
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Marriage Joke
A little kid comes running into the backyard. He says, 'Pop! Pop! Ma just got hit by a bus!' 'Son, you know my lips are chapped. Please don't make me smile. '
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Ethnic Joke - 1
How do a jewish couple have oral sex?. . . 'SET AT OPPOSITE ENDS OF THE BED AND YELL SCREW YOU TO ONE AND OTHER'Sent by Ivan
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Farmer Joke
There was a farmer who raised watermelons. He was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat watermelons. After some careful thought he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. So he made up the sign and posted it in the field. The next day the kids show up and they see this sign, it says 'Warning!! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide. ' So the kids run off, make up their own sign and post it next to the sign that the farmer made. The farmer shows up the next week and when he looks over the field he notices that no watermelons are missing but he notices a new sign next to his. He drives up to the sign which read: 'Now there are two'.
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Joke for Halloween
For those of you who may need it. . . A Prayer for the Stressed!Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off. And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the behind that I may have to kiss tomorrow. Help me to always give 100% at work. . . . 12% on Monday23% on Tuesday40% on Wednesday20% on Thursday5% on FridaysAnd help me to remember . . . When I'm having a really bad day, and it seems that people are trying to piss me off, that it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to extend my arm and smack the jerk on the head!
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Ethnic Joke - 2
There were three Aggies; one crane operator, one pole climber, one guide. The guide tied the crane to the end of a pole. The crane operator would then pick the pole up on end. The climber climbed to the top and dropped a tape measure which the guide promptly read and noted the measurement. The crane operator then lowered the pole to the ground and repsitioned to pick up another pole. This went on several times when the foreman came over and asked why they couldn't measure the poles while they were laying on the ground? The Aggies replied, 'we need to know how tall the poles are, not how long'.
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Cat Joke
Why did the cat run from the tree?
Because it was afraid of the bark!
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Funny Famous Joke
Bombeck's Rule of Medicine: Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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