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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of buy practical jokes and other funny jokes |
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Divorce Joke
Ruby Alice walked up to the desk of a Bowling Green motel and signed the register with the letter 'O. ' 'Why'd you put that circle down?' asked the clerk. 'Cause Ah can't write, ' replied the girl. 'Why don't you sign with an 'X'?' asked the man. 'Ah used to, ' she answered. 'But when Ah got me a divorce, Ah took back mah maiden name!'
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School Joke for Kids
After much soul searching and having determined the husband was infertile, the childless couple decided to try artificial insemination. When the woman showed up at the clinic, she was told to undress from the waist down, get on the table and place her feet in the stirrups. She was feeling rather awkward about the entire procedure when the doctor came in. Her anxiety was not diminished by the sight of him pulling down his pants!'Wait a minute! What the hell is going on here?' yelped the woman, pulling herself into a sitting position. 'Don't you want to get pregnant?' asked the doctor. 'Well, yes, I do, ' answered the woman. 'Then lie back and spread 'em, ' replied the doctor. 'We're all out of the bottled stuff. . . You'll just have to settle for what's on tap!'
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Book title Joke
March Into Battle by Sally Forth
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Animal World
There were two bulls, a young one named George and an old one named Sam. It was that time of year to satisfy the local female population, andyoung George was pretty excited. 'Sam, Sam, can I go down to those heifers over there?' asked George. 'George, relax. Here is how it works. We'll wait until they're lined upat the feed trough so we can have our way with the ladies in a niceorderly fashion. ' said Sam. 'Okay, I can do that. ' George answered. Well, feeding time came and all the heifers were lined up just like Samsaid and George was all excited to go down there, but Sam had a few moreinstructions. 'Now George, here is how this is gonna work. I'll start at one end andyou can start at the other. We'll meet in the middle' said Sam. 'OK, OK, let's go!' said George. 'Hang on George!. One more important thing to remember. These gals willlet us have our way but you have to show some respect and be polite. OK?'said Sam. 'Sure' says George. Well, they go on down to the heifers all lined up. George starts at oneend and Sam at the other. George is pretty excited, but he remember's Sam'sinstructions about being polite, so as he is going along he makes sure tosay - 'Thank you ma'am, thank you ma'am, thank you ma'am, thank you ma'am, thank you ma'am, sorry Sam, thank you ma'am. '
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Bible Joke
Guy goes to hell and is met by the devil, who explains that the punishments are changed every thousand years and he is to select his first punishment. First room has a young guy on the wall being whipped. The new guy not keen on this asks to see the next room. The next room has a middle aged guy being tortured with fire. The new guy immediately asks to see the third room. It has an really old guy chained to the wall getting a blow job from a gorgeous blonde. The guy jumps at the chance and takes the room. The devil walks into the room taps the blonde on the shoulder and says 'okay, you can stop now. You've been relieved'.
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Journalist Joke
Why did the nutty kid throw butter out of the window? He wanted to see a butterfly.
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Computer Joke
Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. Now they're in heaven, and God is sitting on the great golden throne. God addresses Al first. 'Al, what do you believe in?' Al replies, 'Well, I believe that the internal combustion Engine is the root of all evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that if any more freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we'll all die. ' God thinks for a second and says, 'Okay, I can live with that. Come and sit at my left. ' God then addresses Bill Clinton. 'Bill, what do you believe in?' Bill Clinton replies, 'Well, I believe in power to the people. I think people should be able to make their own choices about things, and that no one should ever be able to tell someone else what to do. I also believe in feeling people's pain, but not inhaling. ' God thinks for a second and says, 'Okay, that sounds good. Come and sit at my right. ' God then addresses Bill Gates. 'Bill Gates, what do you believe in?' Bill Gates said, 'I believe you're in my chair. '
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Romance Joke
Why is it so hard for women to find kind, sweet, sensitive men in this world?Because they already have boyfriends!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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