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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of bush brazilian joke and other funny jokes |
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Worlds Best Joke
Q. What does HMO stand for?A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, 'Hey, Moe!' Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Doctor Moe Howard, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eyes. Modern practice replaces the physical finger poke with hi-tech equivalents such as voice mail and referral slips, but the result remains the same. Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?A. No. Only those you need. Q. I just joined a new HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the doctor I want?A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors who were participating in the plan at the time the information was gathered. These doctors basically fall into two categories -- those who are no longer accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are no longer part of the plan. But don't worry -- the remaining doctor who is still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office just a half day's drive away!Q. What are pre-existing conditions?A. This is a phrase used by the grammatically challenged when they want to talk about existing conditions. Unfortunately, we appear to be pre-stuck with it. Q. Well, can I get coverage for my pre-existing conditions?A. Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment. Q. What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?A. You'll need to find alternative forms of payment. Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name brand. I tried the generic medication, but it gave me a stomach ache. What should I do?A. Poke yourself in the eye. Q. I have an 80/20 plan with a $200 deductible and a $'2
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Judge Joke
Prosecutor: Did you kill the victim? Defendant: No, I did not. Prosecutor: Do you know what the penalties are for perjury? Defendant: Yes, I do. And they're a hell of a lot better than the penalty for murder.
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Business Joke
The world is divided into two groups. There are those who know, and those who don't know. Those who know are no problem. Those who don't know are also in two groups. One is those who don't know and know they don't know. Well, they can learn! But then, there are those who don't know, and don't know they don't know. And they become unit managers!
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Bumper Stickers - 2
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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Bumper Stickers - 7
Where is this porn?
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Spoof Joke
There is a new study out about women. I thought these results were pretty interesting. 85% of women think their ass has grown too big since getting married. . 10% of women think their ass is just as big as it was when they got married. . The other 5% say that they don't care, they love him and would have married him anyway.
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Sporting Joke
One fine day, Jim and Bob are out golfing. Jim slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine. He grabs his 8-iron and proceeds down the embankment into the ravine in search of his ball. The brush is quite thick, but Jim searches diligently and suddenly he spots something shiny. As he gets closer, he realizes that the shiny object is in fact an 8-iron in the hands of a skeleton lying near an old golf ball. Jim calls out to his golfing partner in an agitated voice, 'Hey Bob, come here, I got trouble down here. ' Bob comes running over to the edge of the ravine and calls out, 'What's the matter Jim?' Jim shouts back, 'Throw me my 7-iron! You can't get out of here with an 8-iron. '
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Elephant Joke
What's grey and goes round and round ? An elephant in a washing machine !
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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