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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of bureau of silly ideas and other funny jokes |
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Ethnic Joke - 1
Q: How many retarded Italian gardeners does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One, but don't expect results.
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Joke for Halloween
There was a virgin who wanted to marry a farmer boy. One day, she went to his parents' house for dinner. When they got done eating dinner, they decided to go for a walk through the pasture. While they were walking, they came upon 2 horses that were mating. She looks at them with wonder because she has never seen anything like this before. She asks the boy, 'What are they doing?' He says: 'They're making love. ''Well, what's that long thing he's sticking in there?' She asked. 'Oh, uh, that's his rope, ' he answered. 'Well, what are those two round things on the other end?' she asked. He says, 'Those are his knots. ' She says, 'Oh, ok, I got it. 'As they continue their stroll, they come to a barn and go in. She looks at him and says, 'I want you to make love to me the way those animals were. ' Surprised and excited, the boy agrees. While they are getting at it all hot and heavy, she grabs his balls and squeezes. 'Whoa, what are you doing?!' he shouts. The girl innocently replies, 'I'm untying the knots so I'll get more rope!'
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Irish Joke
The local District Judge had given the defendant a lecture on the evils of drink. But in view of the fact that this was the first time the man had been drunk and incapable, the case was dismissed on payment of ten shillings costs. 'Now don't let me ever see your face again, ' said the Justice sternly as the defendant turned to go. 'I'm afraid I can't promise that, sir, ' said the released man. 'And why not?' 'Because I'm the barman at your regular pub!'
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E-mail Joke
Why do church bells never send e-mails? They'd rather give each other a ring.
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Police Joke
Big Louie the Torpedo was becoming increasingly curious about one of the newer members of his mob, Benny the Rod. Benny had been in the business for many years in another part of the country. During that time he had garnered quite a reputation for being the most conscientious and honorable hit man available. He was also considered quite eccentric, perhaps odd, in that for the last ten years or so he always kept one hand in his pocket - clutching his cold steel weapon in readiness (hence the nickname, Benny the Rod). When Benny arrived at Louie's office, the question was put to him. 'So what's the story with you and this here gun of yours, eh? Like, are you scared or somethin' or you just want to always be ready or what?''Not scared . . . ' Benny growled, 'been doin' it dis way ever since me sister-in-law's weddin' 'bout ten ten years ago now'. 'Oh yeah? . . . so . . . ?''Well, I used ta know her fiance at da time - a no good chisler. He never even loved the goil so much . . . but he made her happy and so I kept me mouth shut about it', Benny explained. Louie leaned in, expecting the point of the matter. 'And since dat time I gotta do it dis way'. 'But WHY?!', Louie finally demanded?'Well, I was at da wedding', grumbled Benny, and I wasn't about to say nuttin' about it then, so now I gotta do like da preacher said . . . 'Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Piece!'
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School Joke
Principal: Do you do your homework? Kid: Now & Then Principal: Where do you do it? Kid: Here & There Principal: Put him in the closet!!! Kid: Hey, When will I get out? Principal: Oh, sooner or later
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Animal World
What is the last thing to go through the mindof a mosquito when it hits your windscreen?It's ass.
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Burger Joke
Do they really serve burgers in Transylvania? Very rare-ly.
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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