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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
them funny. |
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of bridegroom jokes and other funny jokes |
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Bumper Stickers - 7
YES this is my truck, NO I won't help you move!.
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Time Joke
Why shouldn't you tell secrets when a clock is around? Because time will tell.
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Office Humor
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASEJohn Hopkins Medical Center is reporting an unusual occurrence in the Obstetrics department:A child was born with both male and female organs. A penis and a brain!
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Sad Joke
You Might Be A College Student:If you average 3 hours of sleep a nightIf your trash is overflowing and your bank account isn'tIf you go to Wal-Mart more than 3 times a weekIf you are personally keeping the local pizza place from bankruptcyIf you wake up 10 minutes before classIf you wear the same jeans 13 days in a row -- without washing themIf your breakfast consists of a coke on the way to classIf your social life consists of a date with the libraryIf it takes a shovel to find the floor of your roomIf you carry less than a dollar on your personIf you haven't done laundry in so long you are wearing your swim suit to classIf you celebrate when you find a quarterIf your room is so cold that your toilet freezes overIf you wear a sweat suit for so long that it stands up by itselfIf your backpack is giving you ScoliosisIf you get more sleep in class than in your roomIf your idea of feeding the poor is buying yourself some Ramen NoodlesIf you can sleep through your roommate's blaring stereoIf you live in an area that is smaller than most mobile homesIf you get more e-mail than mail. . . . . . THEN YOU MIGHT BE A COLLEGE STUDENT!!!
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Mad Joke
Q: What do you call a smart blond?A: A golden retriever!
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Mad Joke
An attractive woman entered a pet shop. When the clerk offered assistance, she explained that she was recently divorced, and was looking for a small-ish dog for company. The clerk explained that the name of the store was 'Exotic Pets' and that, unfortunately, they did not stock cats, dogs, fish or any commonplace pets. He did say, however, that he had something which might be ideal. He took the woman into a back room. He walked over to a terrarium, and pointed proudly to a large bullfrog which sat inside it. 'Would that suit your needs?' he asked. The woman answered, scornfully, that she hardly thought an amphibian would be a suitable companion. 'Ah, ' replied the salesman, leering, 'but this 'amphibian' has been carefully trained . . . to perform oral sex upon women. 'At this the woman's eyes lit up. She eagerly negotiated a price of $500 for the frog, and left with it in her expectant possession. Arriving home, she drew a bubble bath, poured a glass of champagne and relaxed in anticipation. When she was thoroughly mellow, she dried herself, and arranged herself, nude, upon her bed. Parting her thighs, she placed the frog between them, closed her eyes, and waited. Nothing happened. She prodded the frog. Still nothing. She moved it Up further toward her body. Nothing. She ordered it to perform. No response. After an hour of this frustration, she lifted the phone, and called the pet shop. When the clerk answered, she complained loudly that she had been cheated. The clerk apologized profusely, wrote down her address, and said he'd be right over. Ten minutes later, he knocked on the door, and the woman answered, wearing a nightgown. He asked her to demonstrate the problem. She obliged, by disrobing and assuming her former position, with the frog in place. The frog made no movement. 'You see?' she asked, petulantly. 'Yes, I do, ' said the man. Then, addressing the frog as he removed his necktie and shirt, he said, 'Now, I'm only going to show you this one more time. . . '
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Spoof Joke
There are three things a man over 40 should never forget:Never pass up the opportunity to take a leak. Never trust a fart. Never take a hard-on for granted.
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Gorilla Joke
How did the dog warn its master that a Gorilla was approaching? He barked g-r-r-r-illa!
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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