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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
website. Some jokes however were severely tortured in an effort to make
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of bratz fun and other funny jokes |
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School Joke
It was the first day of school, after summer vacation and time for me to pick up the children in my school bus and take them home again.
After I had made the complete run that afternoon, one little boy remained on the bus.
Thinking he had simply missed his stop, I started driving slowly back through the neighborhood and asked him to be sure to let me know if any of the houses or people looked familiar. The boy sat in his seat contentedly and shook his head whenever I asked him if he recognized a person or place.
After the second unsuccessful tour of the area, I started back to the school to ask for his address. When we arrived, the child got off the bus and started walking away.
'Wait!' I called. 'We have to go inside and find out where you live. '
'I live right there,' he said, pointing to a house across the street.
'I just always wanted to ride in a school bus. '
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Bizarre Joke
Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question. St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, 'What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it. ' The teacher answered quickly, 'That would be the Titanic. ' St. Peter let him through the gate. St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven didn't REALLY need all the odors that this guy would bring with him, decided to make the question a little harder: 'How many people died on the ship?' Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie, and answered, ''1
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Bumper Stickers - 2
All generalizations are false.
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Telephone Joke
Moody was awakened by the telephone at four A. M. It was his Ku Klux Klan buddy, Crumm, calling long distance from Montgomery. 'What's the matter?' asked Moody. 'Are you in trouble?' 'No!' said Crumm. 'What do you want, then?' 'Nothing!' 'Then how come you are calling me in the middle of the night?' asked Moody. 'Cause!' said the other redneck, 'the rates is cheaper!'
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Legal Humor
A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights broken and his front bumper smashed. There's no sign of the offending vehicle, but he's relieved to see that there's a note stuck under the windshield wiper. The lawyer picks up the note. 'Sorry. I just backed into your Beemer. The witnesses who saw the accident are nodding and smiling at me because they think I'm leavingmy name, address and other particulars. But I'm not. '
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Computer Joke
At a recent Sacramento PC User's Group meeting, a company was demonstrating its latest speech-recognition software. A representative from the company was just about ready to start the demonstration and asked everyone in the room to quiet down. Just then someone in the back of the room yelled,
'Format C: Return. ' Someone else chimed in: 'Yes, Return'
Unfortunately, the software worked. . . Speech Recognition Software Demo. At a recent Sacramento PC User's Group meeting, a company was demonstrating its latest speech-recognition software. A representative from the company was just about ready to start the demonstration and asked everyone in the room to quiet down. Just then someone in the back of the room yelled, 'Format C: Return. ' Someone else chimed in:
'Yes, Return' Unfortunately, the software worked. . .
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Cow Joke
What is the golden rule for cows? Do unto udders as you would have udders do to you!
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Knock Knock Joke - 2
Knock Knock Who's there ! Bing ! Bing who ? Bing down the house !
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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