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No animals were eaten, killed, maimed, wounded, slightly
injured, experimented on, tortured, eaten, sacrificed, frightened,
bullied, teased, humiliated, tickled, upset, ravished, tantalized,
pulled out of a hat, dishonoured or criticised during the making of this
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Welcome to our archive of jokes, riddles, poems and .
. . everything!!!
Over the years we have published over 100,000 jokes,
50,000 poems, 40,000 riddles, 20,000 pictures, 10,000 funny articles
and 2 combine harvesters.
So have a look around, enjoy and get those crops cut
as soon as possible!!!
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Joke Archive : 100,000 Fabulously Amusing Jokes |
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Archive of bratz dressing up fun games and other funny jokes |
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Naughty Joke
I can't help but wonder sometimes though why lovemaking is almost always referred to in theatrical terms. For example, surely you've heard men refer to their 'performance'. Well, even these days I don't have a lot of trouble with that. But. . . since I'm now past fifty, the 'encores' are getting tuffer and tuffer.
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Best Joke
What is the best way to annoy your wife/husband during sex?Call her/him on the telephone!
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Love and Marriage Joke
During the weeks before Amy's wedding, she was terribly anxious about making some mistakes at the ceremony. The minister reassured her several times, pointing out that the service was not difficult and she will do just fine.
'All you have to remember,' he said, 'is that when you enter the church you walk up the AISLE. The groom and best man will be waiting before the ALTAR. Then I shall request the congregation to sing a HYMN. . . then we shall get on with the ceremony. All you have to remember is the order in which those things happen and you can't go wrong. '
The happy day finally arrived, and the bridegroom waited nervously for his bride to appear.
When she arrived and stood alongside him, he heard her quietly repeating to herself, 'Aisle, altar, hymn, aisle, altar, hymn. ' Or, as it sounded to him, 'I'll alter him!'
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Various animal Joke
What did one skunk say to another? And so do you!
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Camping Joke
Sherlock Holmes and Matthew Watson were on a camping and hiking trip. They had gone to bed and were lying there looking up at the sky. Holmes said, 'Watson, look up. What do you see? 'Well, I see thousands of stars. ' 'And what does that mean to you?' 'Well, I guess it means we will have another nice day tomorrow. What does it mean to you, Holmes?' 'To me, it means someone has stolen our tent. '
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Funny Kids Joke
What is black and gushes out of the ground saying 'Excuse me'?
Refined Oil.
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Naughty Joke
A college couple is under a tree on campus making out. After a while, the girl says, 'I wish you had a flashlight. ' He says, 'Why's that?' She says, 'Because you've been eating grass for fifteen minutes. '
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Sad Joke
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either; just #$%^ off and leave me alone. 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire. 3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. 4. Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. 5. No one is listening until you make a mistake. 6. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. 7. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. 8. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. 9. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help. 10. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. 11. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. 12. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. 13. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day. 14. If you lend someone $'20
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Note : Many of our jokes have been
submitted by guests - if you find any that are offensive please let
us know and they will be removed immediately. |
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